Bitch

          I know this woman in school who is fierce, in the best possible sense of the word.  :)   She is out spoken, intellegent,self-confident and beautiful.   I admire her.  This wonderful human being sent me a great text once which got me to thinking.  I will share.
If I have curves, Im fat.
If I wear makeup, Im fake.
If I like to get dressed up, Im a hoochie.
If I say what I think, Im a bitch.
If I cry sometimes, Im a drama queen.
If I have guy friends, Im a slut.
If I stand up for myself, Im mouthy.
Seems like you can't do anything these days without being labeled.
          There was a little more, but you get the idea.
          Label's have always interested me.   For some reason society needs to have them to function.   It took me awhile to figure out why, but I think I understand now.
          Labels are used to define a specific group or class.  They catagorize people, and things.   For instance designer labels on clothes.  Anyone who wears them is put into a group.  The implication of this group is, because we can afford the label we must have money, and having money makes us more secure; security makes us more confident.  Of course most of us know this isn't true.   People who have money usually have a tendancy to not purchase labels, but quality, there is a difference.   More often then not it is the people with out money purchasing the labels.  This label is giving a false sense of confidence; the security it fleeting.
          Then their are the labels that we put on others, and ourselves.   Like the text.   These most certainly put us into groups.  Not always such a bad thing.  Don't we usually find ourselves associateing with the people we are suppose to?   Most of my girl friends are full figured women, independant, intellegent, confident and beautiful.  I think the common ground is not that we are curvy (fat), or outspoken (bitches) although it all certainly does help.  I think the common ground is that we are all happy.   The curves, intellegence, outspoken behavior comes from being comforatbale with who we are.  
           The pith of the matter is that labels hurt.   Compliments do not.   You can tell someone how beautiful you think they are and it doesn't insult or hurt them.  If you tell them they are fat, it becomes a label and it hurts.   What people don't truly understand about labels is that they can be changed.  You can rip a label off a jacket and it becomes just a jacket.  A knock off designer purse can change perseptions.   People can do the same thing.   I know people who sport tattos, piercings, goth attire, and live the biker culture.  Many will avoid these people because they have the labels of being feared, violent, anti-social, and lazy.   Most of those who I know are the opposite of those labels.   They subscribe to their culture to change perceptions.  They are highly intellegent, hard working, empathetic individuals.   The beach crowd, or the skaters, the club crowd, gamers, rockers, and nerds; to name just a few.   (Im sure some of these deffinitions are a little out dated, but from generation to generation while the name may change, the story stays the same.)   All these groups have one thing in common.  They have all been labeled, and probably by each other.
          We are all guilty of it arn't we?  If we critisize the people labeling we are guilty of the same.  Labeling is part of self preservation.  It is far easier to put a label on someone then to try and understand them.  Understanding takes time and energy, and in this day and age who really has time for that?  So we label, then hang out with people who are more like the labels we have.  Safety in numbers. 
          Labels do help professionals diagnose.  Teachers use them to teach, doctors use them to help them make people well, pychologists use them to help cure the mind and social workers use them to make the world more social.   It by far not a perfect science, but labels usually deal with people, and people are not a perfect science.  (Thank goodness.)  So the idea of labels is highly flawed.
          The problem with labels is that we give them too much power and use them incorrectly.  I guarentee that someone, some where, misused, mis diagnosed, and/or abused a label to further their needs.  Its been down hill ever since.  (Kinda like the atom bomb idea...)  Labels are people driven and inspired.  Put into the hands of someone who doesn't understand how to use them they can be dangerous.  So here's what you do.  The next time someone calls you fat, stupid, big mouthed, ridiculous, a drama queen (or king), over snesitive, paranoid, and most importantly a bitch (or bastard) I suggest saying thank you.   Give them a hug and say have a nice day!   Better they try to hurt me with a label that I choose to give no power to then someone else who could be hurt by it.