Sugar: A love story

I
 don't wanna be needing your love
I just wanna be deep in your love
And it's killing me when you're away, ooh, baby,
'Cause I really don't care where you are
I just wanna be there where you are
And I gotta get one little taste
-Marroon 5


    

“Creativity's too big a pill; the truth's too hard to swallow. Sprinkle sugar in a straight line and we'll all inhale and follow.”
― Kelby Losack, Toxic Garbage

tags: creativity, sugar-coated, truth

        Funny how Friday the 13th landed before Valentines day this year; is the universe sending a message? Or just coincidence?  In my world very few things are coincidental.  Fate?  Maybe.  I think its more like Karma.  The universe has things it wants us to see and learn we need only pay attention.  So once again I beg your patience while I weave my tale. 
       Friday the 13th I went grocery shopping for the up and coming week.  It was a Friday like any other.  I drove up the road, stereo blasting, perhaps going a little faster than the designated 35 MPH, to our local store, parked the car, walked across the parking lot, still humming the song I was listening to, and was greeted by Girl scouts selling Girl Scout cookies.  sigh...   I smiled at the two cute little Girl scouts doing there best to relive me of my money and sugar free lifestyle. "No thank you I've already bought some."  Which wasn't true but it sounds better then, "Sorry I'm not partaking of sugar right now you miniature drug dealers."
          A brief flash of a plot went through my head, a rationalization of just one box will be ok, I could eat it before I got home, hubby wouldn't even know.  Until hubby kissed me and then he would notice the taste of thin mints, or lemon zingers.
"What's that on your lips?  Did you get some Girl Scout cookies?" I picture him standing back with a slightly amused but accusatory look on his face.
"No" I would fire back guiltily but with amused bravado. "If you have Girl Scout cookies on your mind so much that you are tasting them on my lips maybe you should just drive up to the grocery store, buy yourself a box or two and give into your base urges like I did."
He would laugh, kiss me again, lick his lips, share a sigh of thin mint contentment and walk away.  I would depart from him feeling unfulfilled by the forbidden cookies and disappointed in myself.  So instead I pass.
          I walked into the store and roll my eyes.  Right in front of me in all its Valentines day glory was a display of everything Valentines.  Little stuffed animals, cards, flowers, and... sugar.  Sugar of every kind, shape, color, and size.  Sigh...I take a deep cleansing breath, for the second time in less then two minutes, divert my eyes, and move quickly pass the display of love that really is more a display addiction.
          I walked around the corner to check out the sales that the grocery store always displays up front, decide that there is nothing we need, then move leisurely up and down the first two aisles. still humming contentedly, proud of myself for resisting temptation twice that day in so short a period.  Enjoying the stroll through the land of food I am glad I am by myself.
          My sons hate grocery shopping with me because I go up and down every aisle whether we need something on that aisle or not.  But I have learned over the years that if I don't take my time to think about what is on that aisle I end up forgetting something.  Or I come home with something I really don't want, or need.  So with the mindset of making wise eating choices, and taking my time, I also stand in front of something for what feels like an eternity, to my sons, looking at a product, usually containing sugar, or something of equal unhealthiness, until I internally talk myself out of it.
           I have a friend who has been a nutritional coach of sorts for a couple of years now and she explained to me once that if a food talks to you don't get it.  When she first told me this I thought, confused, wtf is she talking about?  But now I get it.  Its almost like I have conversation's in my head with some products.
"Hey there" Captain Crunch says in a Scottish seductive voice, "slow down lassy, c'mon take me off the shelf and take me home."
I stand there thinking, "Why not?   How could one box of glorious sugar filled Captain Crunch, indulged upon in one glorious passion filled night, hurt?"  But it will, I argue with myself, I no longer want to deal with the emotional abuse I inflict upon my self after wards so I begin to walk away. 
"Wait there lass, what about crunch berries?" Captain Crunch purrs in his smooth Scottish accent.
"Oooooo  crunch berries."  I stand there looking at the box, rationalizing, "What if I only have one bowl?  What if I can make it last?  But then that's sugar dragged out over time.  Well then I could just eat it all in one sitting.  Good Buddha no!  What am I thinking...move on."
I hear Captain Crunch sigh defeat and start working on the next person, a nineteen year old girl.  "Lassy lassy slow down there!  Pick me up! You wont have regrets for years and years."
I smile and move on knowing that such passionate encounters are brief, and fleeting, but the long term effects are not worth one night of passion. 
          I congratulate myself again and continue walking to the end of the aisle oblivious to what awaits me.  I get to the end of the aisle and I hear a choir of angels go off, a bright light comes down from heaven illuminateing...wait for it...an aisle of half off Entemans.  WTF!!!  Am I being tested?  Then I remember that 1)-Im not Christian so the light fades and the angels stop singing; (I would never hear monks chanting because well, they supposedly don't eat that crap) and
2)- I don't like Entemans really.  But wait there is a bakery aisle just around the corner, I didn't even go into it, may be I should take a stroll back and take a look, don't the guys need bread anyways and I could look at the brownies, the cherry turnovers, pecan pies, donuts, cupcakes, sugar cookies it doesn't hurt to look and smell, maybe they are giving away free samples...wait...STOP!  I take another deep breath, gain control, and decide against the bakery. 
          Well this back and forth, unfulfilled, passion takes it toll and all at once I get pissed and look to blame.  Blame falls upon a holiday invented strictly to encourage consumerism and the eating of sugar.  Why does there have to be so many holidays that encourage things like love, and giving only once or twice a year?  Why do they all need to be celebrated with eating.  Eating lots and lots and ending with huge, wide variety's of ooey gooey sugary goodness?
          I don't think holidays like Valentines day really do spread love.  I think this causes many arguments among what would normally be happy couples.  I have known, and still know, some people, men and women alike, who feel more than a little slighted if their significant other forgets flowers, or candy, or a romantic dinner.  Why do we need one specific day to show vast amounts of love?
          AND it makes single people feel like there is something wrong with them that they are unable to participate in mass consumption, with some one else, of..well...things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.  I know a couple of people, well more than a couple really, once again men and women alike, who have made conscious, well thought out, intelligent choices to not be in a relationship.  There are other things in life that hold more satisfaction for some people.  ;)  They are happy contented people.  Which once again makes me wonder again about the intelligence of a holiday that celebrates love focused on relationships with someone else!  Shouldn't there be more focus put on the fact that the loving relationship you have with yourself is more desirable and long lasting?
          Something else occurred to me.  Valentines day is just one perfect example of advertising at its very best.  Consumerism at its best.  There is a certain admiration for the person, or persons, who thought this so called holiday up.  Who have such a great understanding of the mind to know that Americans will just consume with out thinking and use this knowledge to make money.
          I realized that its all connected, this idea of mass consumption, and consumerism, in the United States.  This is why other countries consider us spoiled, and or decadent.  Technically we are.  We have so much at our finger tips that the majority of the rest of the world does not.  I mean there are places in the world that do not have McDonalds for crying out loud!  Can you even imagine, what Nirvana that must be!  Not that I really like them, we haven't eaten at one in years now, but they still smell good driving down the street after the grocery store...sigh.  What do they do to make it smell good?  You know it tastes like crap and personally makes me sick, truly, but the smell sure is tempting.
          All this exposure to food that we really don't need, or want.  When you give some real thought, to sugar, to junk food, it is part of democracy.  Strange...but true.  Having holidays where we don't understand that we are giving thanks to things instead of what the true intention of the holiday is suppose to be is democracy.  We forget a couple things about this idea however. 
          One- We can say no.  Democracy is all about saying no really, not yes.  It is saying no to some one who uses religion to further their paranoid, twisted ideas of love, morality and values.  It is saying no to guns even though we have a right to keep them in our homes.  It is saying no to filling our lives with stuff, bigger TV's, newer versions of a phone that works just fine, faster computers, prettier cars, bigger houses, the list is endless. 
         AND it means saying no to filling our bodies and minds with foods that encourage a life style that really is not healthy.  But hey, the stuff has to be sold right?  I mean someone makes it, someone has to sell it, and we silly Americans think we need to buy it, because...well...we can.  So BAM Valentines day!  The day of love followed by the day of half off sugar.  Preceded I remind you by Friday the 13th.  All these days have to be good for some one...hmmmm...but who I wonder?
          The Pith of the Matter is.. me.  Yeah sometimes I over analyze things like sugar which technically wasn't a issue for me until recently.  But there comes a day when we all say, "NO" and for me it came this Friday the 13th.  Almost every day I struggle with not eating some kind of sugary delight.  Then I remember how good it feels to say no. 
          I walked out  of the grocery store with my cart full of healthy happy choices and was once again confronted with two different Girl Scouts.  "How long was I in the grocery store?" I thought as they once again asked if I would buy some cookies.  I looked at them, smiled and said, "No thank you, but you guys did an awesome job asking." 
Namaste
Peace out

“You can believe in whatsoever you like, but the truth remains the truth, no matter how sweet the lie may taste.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson

tags: bad-influence, belief, bible, christianity, exaggeration, fabrication, false-prophets, falsification, gospel, half-truth, liar, lie, mendacity, philosophy, religion, sugar-coated, sweet, taste, truth, untruth

 

“Tone is the hardest part of saying no.”
― Jonathan Price, Put That in Writing

tags: saying-no, tone

 

“It takes valor to identify your breaking points and refuse to allow people/circumstances use them to force you say/do things you don’t believe





.”
― Assegid Habtewold, The 9 Cardinal Building Blocks: For Continued Success in Leadership

 

The Body Is the Garden of my Soul

        

          I have struggled with weight most of my life.  Even when I was at my skinniest, size 9, with a 5ft. 7 height, 120 pounds, (which was considered to be too skinny for me,) weight was a struggle.  I wasn't skinny because I was taking good care of my self.  I was skinny for the opposite reason.  It has taken me some time to realize that my weight issues are due to my lack of connection, and understanding, to caring for myself.
          I don't like January.  I perceive it as a very self reflective month.  It takes me the whole month to figure out what I want to achieve for the year. Everything is on hold until I figure it out.  Its a little frustrating for me really, I feel like I'm not achieving anything. Another example of how I don't think I deserve to put myself first.
         I also don't like the phrase New Years resolution.  Resolution has a feeling of finality for me, and I have always had a hard time advocating, and understanding, that something is final, done, over, that's it.  I think as humans we are ever changing, evolving.  There are very few things in life that are final...death, that is it.  Even then if you believe in reincarnation death isn't even final. So instead I set goals. A goal is something at the end of an achievement.  For me this idea is more appropriate to my spirituality, Buddhism. Buddhism encourages goals, it has an understanding that setting goals is good, but more often that not goals are not achieved, and that's ok.
        Take something like the idea of suffering, suffering will not end, but we can make it a goal to eliminate it when we can.  To be aware of it.  To be kind and compassionate. So in the case of my weight I set a goal of understanding that states, "weight has been, and will always be, an issue for me."  But I can set certain goals to alleviate the attachments I have to my mindset attached to weight and change my idea of consumption.
        Consumption in Buddhism has mostly to do with society and economy as a whole.  How much we, as humans, in the majority of cultures out there, put such a huge emphasis on consuming in mass quantity's.  This does not always have to do with food, it also includes drugs, media, things in general that we don't need but tell ourselves that we do. Our inability to ascertain the difference between want and need.
         In Buddhism giving in to the idea of consumption and attachment accumulates bad Karma.  How can we accumulate good Karma when we are so attached to things that in all reality are not necessary for our well being?  I have been meditating on this a lot lately in hopes that I can alter some of my Karma...and weight.
 
          First why is one of the Buddha's chubby and smiling.  Doesn't this image almost encourage consumption?  And support our acceptance, comfort, in it?  Well stature, physique, etc. is historically associated with class.  Being over weight and smiling signified wealth and happiness.  So are we suppose to be chubby and happy?  Do we need to be chubby to be healthy?  Do we need more to feel more? Then I found this.  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-good-life/201207/when-did-the-buddha-become-fat   Well totally changed my perception.  Then I also remembered China is the country that occupied Tibet and pushed the Dahli Lama out.  pffft...so wrong path to take to learn something here.  Refocus.
          I have been reading http://www.savorthebook.com/ this has been very helpful; lending support on a multitude of issues in a way that not only supports my spirituality but also a healthy life style.  It is this book that helped me become aware of the possibility that caring for myself was not a priority.
How does this happen?  How do so many of us grow up thinking that putting ourselves first is wrong?  I googled this and came up with many answers.  So there is not one simple answer.  
          In these situations I think its reasonable to not focus on the why of it happening but the solution instead.  For me all I need to recognize is that for a multitude of reasons I was not taught, role modeled, encouraged, and supported to care for myself first.  Then add in my career choices...well.    Now don't misunderstand me, none of these things are really bad.  I am very much at peace with the fact that I am who I am thanks to everyone who has crossed my path, and all the choices I have made, whether they be good or bad.  BUT here's the thing. 
          Something occurred to me lately.  I am a huge advocate, supporter, encourager of empowering people.  There are too many victims in the world.  By not getting a hold on my weight, for what ever reason, does this make me a victim?  Am I giving up to, and giving in to, the addictive mindset that I have always had a weight issue and that is the way it will always be?  No I don't thing so. 
          When examining something that is causing suffering you have to look at the source of it.  You become a victim if you choose not to go to the next step which is saying," I have weight issues, but I can take steps to make my life healthier, I do this by accepting that I can put myself first."  Even writing that and looking at it, letting it sink in, makes me uncomfortable.  Ahhh another source of suffering to meditate on.  So I did. 
           It never ceases to amaze me how readily the answers come to me while meditating.  I have mentioned before that I use different forms of meditation for different reasons.  For something like my weight I have been looking for some kind of chant.  Something that I can say either to myself or out loud, while breathing, to help me resist unnecessary consumption.
           At first I found a couple of lines out of a longer writing which I would, and still do, repeat to myself.  "I will consume in such a way that preserves peace, joy and well being in body and consciousness."  Simple enough.  But sometimes you need something easier and more to the point.           
           Today I sat down to meditate on my well being.  I lit some incense, and a candle.  Turned on the Heart Mediations station on Pandora, got myself into a half lotus position on my marshmallow cushion in front of my alter, put my hands into the Gyan Mudras (knowledge), and began breathing.  Meditation comes pretty fast for me now.  I have been doing it a few years and have trained myself to do what I need to do to get to the relaxed, calm, place of peace that brings me answers. 
          Here's what happened, in the back ground I heard the words to a piece of music that was playing, "My body is the garden of my soul."  Well there you go.  Coincidence?  Maybe, but I believe that these messages come to us all the time, we just don't always listen; meditating opens us up to the messages. I quickly came out of mediation and wrote the words down so I wouldn't forget it.  We all know that our emotions are connected to our body; healthy body healthy mind and vice versa.  But our spirituality is connected to both also. Spirituality keeps us focused on doing both for ourselves.
           My mind then flows out to my back yard, my big controlled chaos of a garden.  I cant remember when, but at some point, I decided that I was fighting a loosing battle with my garden.  Feeling I was constantly trying to make it do something that it didn't want to do.  Finally I decided why not let it grow where it wants to grow?  Sure I still pull and trim some plants in order that others can have room to grow, and be healthy, but all in all I let it do what it wants.  I watch it, observe it every season.  I walk through it, looking at plants, what's coming up, what's struggling, and nurture it according to what I the garden wants to share with me.
          The Pith of the Matter.  The body is the garden of my soul.  All it takes is some patience, acceptance, observation, and insight into what makes it grow, what makes it healthy.  Pull out things that don't work, maintain those that do.  Huh...simple.  Free of attachment, consumption, and suffering.  As it should be.
Namaste Peace out.