http://www.wildmind.org/mantras/figures/greentara
Im going to share a bit of truth with you concerning my self. There are days when I dont like people. gasp! I know I know its true though. And Im going to tell you why starting with a recent example.
A couple of weeks ago I started back to school. If anyone in there 50s, or older, tells you they love going back to school Im going to call shananigans. The learning part is great, for the most part, when you get a good passionate instructor. BUT going to school with other people who are, for the most part, much younger than you is...hmmmm....challangeing. For instance, why is it that in every math class I end up sitting next to the person who feels the need to talk out loud while working their problems? Or why is it that the person sitting on the other side of me asks all, and I mean ALL, the stupid questions? I mean Im numerically challanged I dont need these distractions! AND if I think they are stupid questions, given that I am numerically challanged, then THEY ARE STUPID QUESTIONS! To me this is a prefect example of how people just need to shut up and listen a little longer before opening their mouths.
Seriously...what is our world coming to when some one fresh out of high school doesnt know who Edger Allen Poe is? And why does that silly girl in philosophy class ask,"If humans are animals why cant we eat each other?" Im sorry it needs to be said...dumb ass.
What is most frustrating to me how ever is the level of angry people out their in the world today. Is it me? Or does it seem that no matter where you go, or what you are doing there will be some one in that environment who is not just angry but pissed off at the world in general? Here is an example that bothered me.
Im leaving math class. I get into the elevator, Im tired I dont want to walk down the three flights of stairs that particular evening. I have my backpack slung over one arm as I am entering the elevator but I am cautious and sensitve to others around me. We have all had a back pack in our face cramming us into the corner of the elevator. Well we get to the 2nd floor and more people get in...this is the english floor and I am assuming these folks are not familiar with the ideas of porportions yet. As people get in I take my back pack off and scoot back a little, while I am doing this I turn the the woman in back of me, who is about my age, smile, and say sorry. I didnt need to say sorry, I was aware that my backpack didnt come any where near her. But for the next floor ride down, which took a little bit of time because these elevators are old, I can hear her taking deep sighs, like an adolescent, and complaining. UH excuse me! Im thinking... none of us have room and while my back pack is not in your face your hot breath is on my back. bleh. Well I let her mess with my peace. Shame on me.
There is a slightly evil side to me that wants to partake in passive agressive retaliation like stalking the elevators until she gets in and not only NOT make an atempt to watch my back pack but to also wear some kind of really obnoxious perfume...or may be have eaten a big ol helping of beans and letting it loose on the elevator. OR turn making sure she is cornered and just look at her. You know...just look. But I dont. Instead I come home and blog about all the anger in the world and how we all, including me, let it get to us. I remember reading some face book post that was posted by a site promoted by the Dali Lama that said if every child under the age of 8 were taught to meditate we would have world peace with in two decades. Profound...give this a think for a bit.
When I am confronted with such a large amount of anger and hostility I can feel it. My need to go home to my sanctuary to be surrounded by people who engage in love and peace and same minded philosophys rises. I reach out to friends who I know think and feel like I do. I find that I am actually kind of surprised to find that they think and feel the same way about people that I do. Infact my one friend whom also subscribes to Buddhism said that her mantra during these times is people suck people suck. :D Which makes me feel alot better cause then I know that Im normal...mostly. Both women that I spoke with concerning people...you know...sucking...shared the same thing. They go through times where they find that they have reached the end of their compassion and understanding. It becomes increasingly hard to be kind to people around them.
ANother thought came up in my conversations with these two spiritual and intellegent women. When did saying sorry start being percieved as a weakness? Truley think about this. How many times do we apologize to a stranger and that seems to almost give them permission to start verbelly abusing us. Or attempt to embarrass us, and not the good teaching kind of embarrassment, but the deaming hurtful kind. I dont get it. You know what I say to people who do this? Because in my line of work I have been confronted with a few. At first I say nothing; I let them rant awhile. And then I look at them calmly, take a visable deep breath (to silently let them know that they should calm the fuck down) then I whisper. I know you are upset, but I apologized and I am here to help you, so could you please stop yelling at me. Remember once again to smile, whisper and put on your calmest tranquil face. Humble them into humility. I gain nothing by acting badly. Bad behavior is an energy sucker. I decide how much of my energy others get and more importantly what kind of energy they get.
Heres the Pith of the Matter that I realised concerning all of this. We cannont have love with out hate. We cannot know true joy with out anger. We unfortuneatly need to compare and contrast. It is when people dont really SEE the importance of the comparrisons and contrasts that problems begin. I think when some one doesnt understand that anger is there to remind us to appreciate and work towards love and compassion there is a problem. I also think there is an appropriate way to express anger...which I wont rehash Im pretty sure its in another blog. I have decided that when I start beleiving that people suck not only is it important to take time to be alone and meditate, but more importantly to reach out and take a reality check with persons who think and feel as we do. Its so revitalizing to here that others feel the same way. That others go through the same kinds of things. To know that we are not alone. So you know that angry woman on the elevator? Well Ill continue to smile at her and be polite because not doing, or being, so would go against who I am. And in order to get from this life to the next I believe in karma. I am still striving for that yellow butterfly in my back yard. Although on some level I kind feel that I will come back in another human services role where I can continue to do what I love.
Peace out.
58. Yathā saṅkāradhānasmiṃ
ujjhitasmiṃ mahāpathe
Padumaṃ tattha jāyetha
sucigandhaṃ manoramaṃ.
59. Evaṃ saṅkārabhūtesu
andhabhūte puthujjane
Atirocati paññāya
sammāsambuddhasāvako.
Which means:
58. As upon a heap of rubbish,
Thrown out by the highway,
May grow a lotus
Delightful and of pure scent,
59. So, among defiled beings,
Among blind, unawakened beings,
The disciple of the Fully and Perfectly Awakened One
Shines with wisdom.
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