When my eldest got married he dubbed us the elders; he and his new wife were, and still are, the youngers. This passing of title, or the torch if you will, has suddenly taken on an importance I hadn't considered. I have periodically blogged about my daughter in law. She is very patient with me in this area (i.e. my need to express myself) because one- she doesn't like to be the center of attention, and two-she is not like me in big showy public displays of affection. Some times, however, and I am going to be blunt about this, she needs to get over it; this is one of those times. The daughter in law deserves praise, and it is time that everyone knows it.
I don't think my daughter law always knows what an awesome human being she is. I don't say this with any other intention other than to make sure that she knows and understands this. In the early stages of her life, and with sharing just enough detail for readers to understand, she dealt with challenges that 99% of the population not only don't have to deal with, but don't have a clue about. I am not exaggerating this. She will admit openly that growing up was a very difficult for her and caused her to question life in general, and her place in it, for a very long time. Then she met my son.
Now I, as a loving, proud, dedicated mom, would love to tell you that my son saved her, but this is not true. They saved each other. Both of them used their challenging beginnings to build a life together that, for those of us who watch from afar, are astounded by. They don't have a lot of money, they don't have big huge titled jobs that provide an entitled income and everything attached to a big entitled income. What they do have is a loving, giving, compassionate, kind lifestyle that encourages them to always give to others. Due to this lifestyle they find themselves surrounded with luxury's that many of us take for granted; good friends, pets, loving comfortable environment and a loving, patient, dedicated marriage.
Like most women my lovely daughter in law feels week, tired, and struggles. All women feel this way, in fact, men do too, they just usually keep it to themselves. I believe most women need to have a day or two where they get pissed off at the world and everything in it. It needs to be done periodically so we can get on with life. She deserves to have a bad day, may be more deserving than others from time to time. Life feels harder for her more than others, and I think sometimes we forget that. Like most women my daughter in law figures it all out and gets back into the swing of things; jumping in with both feet and a smile on her face. Now may be some of you read this and think there is no need to praise something that we all do, we all just do it and accept that we don't get praise for it most of the time. But here's the thing, my daughter in law deals with life changing issues on a daily basis that makes certain normal circumstances, like the simple daily function of eating, feel harder for her. Yet she still does it.
She goes out and hikes by herself, goes to school full time, works, working in areas that many people would never consider working at, she talks to everyone, learns from everyone, and everything, and daily looks for ways to challenge herself while helping others. Knowing that doing these things help her feel that she has found her place in the world. Helps her deal with life in general. Helps her keep her sanity. That there is a reason for it all.
She believes that the challenges she has been given are there for her to help and teach others. Often not thinking of her own safety. This perspective she has on life is something that many people do not have. This optimism that despite the challenges that the universe seems to constantly dish out to her there is a bigger picture, and she see's it, understands it, and is up to the challenge.
Many of us on the outside of her life worry, wondering if she is aware of the dangers associated with some of her choices. This is frustrating for her, not because, I think, that she doesn't understand the love and caring associated with the concern towards her, but because she has grown up. Grown up learning things that many of us have not. Grown up with a different perspective on life because of what she has learned. Grown up with a wisdom of the world which many of us take for granted and don't understand. Grown up with a confidence associated with it all.
So here is the Pith of the Matter on the Mrs. B. Younger. We ask you to be patient with us elders who sometimes fumble with the right words to express how very proud we all are of you. I personally thank everyday that I wake up that you are not only in my sons life, but ours, and the universe's in general.
I've told you before, and I will repeat it again, and here it is in writing fro you to hold against me when you think I forget. ;) Regardless of what anyone else says, and many of those people are full of good intentions and love for you, you MUST do what you feel to be the right path for you. It is in following your path that you will feel full filled in life. These full filling paths rarely come with lots of money, and lots of things, attachments if you will. But they do come with confidence, bravery, wisdom, love, compassion, kindness; all the things that money cannot buy, and that you can only give to yourself. It is a healthy selfish and part of making sure that you sustain a healthy life style, which many people don't truly understand is something that you struggle with daily.
Know that you have one, but I suspect many more than you know, admirer. I watch from afar, with more pride than I can ever put into words, (which is ironic I know) and a growing never ending love. Admittedly sometimes I live vicariously through you and I thank you for letting me. My sister shared once with me that as we get older we pass the torch on to those who come after us. I feel confident in the passing of the torch to you. Thank you my love.
Namaste Peace out
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
― Rumi, The Essential Rumi
― Rumi, The Essential Rumi
“She was always daydreaming. She never wanted to live in the real world; she always seemed to be separated from other children her age. They couldn’t understand her or her imagination. She was always thinking outside of the box, breaking rules, and only following what her heart told her was right.”
― Shannon A. Thompson, November Snow
― Shannon A. Thompson, November Snow
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