"The first half of life is learning to be an adult—the second half is learning to be a child."
--Pablo Picasso
I have thought long and hard about the wisdom I am about to disperse. It is the wisdom that is passed (or should be passed) from one generation to the next and consists of things that you can only learn through experience. These are things that I have learned in life that I feel everyone should know. Things, that, in my experience, will save you from much embarrassment, and surprise. Some of the following were my own personal experiences; some were observed by me. These are in no specific order of relevance or importance. I will not go into detail on how I know these things, I will let you use your imagination. A shout out to all my friends and family who contributed to, and let me share these experiences. You have made my life worth living. ;)
1) Unless you are already a blonde, or have blonde highlights, do not become a blonde. Do not especially become a platinum blonde. The removal of color from your hair does awful things not only to those stringy dead cells but to the color of your face. You will end up having to alter make up, eyebrow color, and sometimes even clothing.
2) When your husband says you look great it will not always be the truth. Its ok he is doing it out of love. Don't condemn him for it. Just trust your own judgment in the future. (see #1)
3) Don't leave your toddlers alone with crayons, markers and, or finger paints.
4) Keep track of your kids food. Don't assume that they have eaten it, and don't assume that they have taken the dishes out of their room when they are done eating.
5) If you see your kid rolling something around in their hand don't ask what is that. You will not get a good answer...trust me.
6) Its ok to leave hubby alone with the kids. Really. He wont parent like you but in my experience the kids are rarely injured, and stay alive. One day or evening of bad diets, inappropriate movies, and irregular schedule wont kill them. And in the end the kids are usually pretty happy your home again.
7) If you have boys don't let them keep jars with, or with out, lids in their rooms. And if the jars are in the house make sure you know where they are and what is in them at all times.
8) Don't go to bars with single friends.
9) Don't let your parents, or in laws, cut your kids hair.
10) Don't invite anyone in your extended family's on either side to stay longer than three days with you.
11) Don't let you kid sister try to make your kids eat their vegetables it will end badly for everyone.
12) When you take the much needed vacation with out your family get a neck pillow or you will wake up, from your own snoring, drool coming out the side of your mouth, your head on the shoulder of the cute strange guy next to you, and quickly, in a sleepy haze, have to make uncomfortable conversation.
13) Don't drink alone on a plane...see 12.
14) Don't wear a skirt when visiting the empire state building.
15) As soon as your kids can open your bedroom door put a lock on it.
16) Put a lock on the bathroom door too. But take it off when the kids are teens this will make for endless hours of amusement for you and spouse.
17) When your in your forty's get a fast car with a loud stereo and don't let your teens drive it...ever.
18) Don't let your husband do the following. Carry jars, or plastic baggies, in the car that could be used for holding anything alive. Go looking for a snake on the side of a mountain. Use a chain saw with out adult supervision. Get a four wheel drive vehicle and move to the mountains. Go sledding with your kids in the mountains. Go chasing bears with the dog. Go chasing a moose with the dog. Use a gun without adult supervision. Play video games with the kids. Take the kids grocery shopping, or go alone for that matter, with out a list. Pick out his own clothes for the first 15 years of your marriage. ...think that's it there. OH YEAH! Play with fire, or fireworks without adult supervision.
19) When exiting from a tent wearing a halter top make sure it is tied around your neck securely.
20) Hiding alcohol in medicine bottles doesn't work. It leaks out easily and ends up all inside your purse which can be smelled by school personal causing them to start randomly opening and searching lockers.
21) High school ends; so those idiots who made fun of everyone and bullied you or others? I can most assuredly promise you that in 30 years they will be doing squat with their lives.
22) Learning never ends so don't ever stop looking for some thing new to learn, something different. Go out and travel, move around, meet people, talk to them. Its suppose to be scary; never really stops being a little scary, but that is the excitement of it all. :D The unknown.
23) Watch Star Trek from the episodes with Kirk to Pickard...the rest suck. And all the movies, even the bad ones. This will help you with #22.
24) Read And not just on the computer. Find a book and read it then keep it. I predict that with in the next century we will see the demise of books as we know them now.
25) Keep it simple all that stuff that you think you have to have now will really not be important later on.
26) Never stop dancing, singing, and laughing as loud as you can. AND every where you can! Regardless of what your family says.
27) Do your best always in everything and with everyone so you will have not regrets later. Even if you have to say sorry cause you made a mistake at least you know you tried.
28) Never stop calling home. Someday those people wont be there anymore and you will miss them.
29) When it is time for your kids to get married don't help them plan it just give them the money. Make sure there is plenty of alcohol during all planning phases.
30) Never go to bed angry. Always say I love you. Give at a least one hug a day. And don't give up family dinners even after the kids move out.
31) Makeup...less is more at any age unless you are a drag queen then more is fabulous!
32) Pets should get smaller as you get older...you don't want to pick up large poop piles in your fifty's...trust me. Large dogs are hard to travel with for this reason too.
33) Your eyes will get bad and you will wear reading glasses start getting use to the idea now.
34) Your sex drive will diminish but your relationship will be better then ever.
35) After menopause ( in both men and women) weight is harder to take off that is why we start eating differently. Once that happens your stomach just starts rejecting everything...along with your bowels. Learn to like vegetables when you are young it will make this phase easier for you. I know TMI. ;)
36) There is no such thing as age appropriate when it comes to car, clothing, furniture, music ,hobby's, hair styles, accessory's, shoes, and many other things. Its just whether or not you can carry it off.
37) Don't watch zombie movies.
38) While snipes are real birds snipe hunting is not a real.
39) Do not stand on a folding chair while holding a jar of paint.
40) Don't wear socks with sandals unless you live in Colorado, New Mexico and, or Arizona where this is winter dress code.
41) Don't watch zombie movies
42) Don't watch reality tv. It is not real life.
43) Don't watch the news. Go out and read it then make sure and do your research before siding with an opinion.
44) ALWAYS use your manners.
45) Learn to give wet willy's and wedge's to your spouse.
46) Drop ceiling are not strong enough for you to crawl on.
47) Be kind to everyone especially the people who don't deserve it.
48) Keep a change jar hidden in your room and then fill it.
49) Never stop riding a bike peddle or Harley. AND Harley is the only motorcycle to own.
50) Don't talk dirty to your spouse when he is at work, and if you hear a click while you are talking dirty stop immediately.
51) Never stop playing board games, but don't play Risk or Monopoly with your spouse.
52) Always say your sorry and then follow it up with an action that makes the person you are apologizing to show that you mean it. This does not include make up sex.
53) Get tattoos through all phase's of your life. Make them original art work that tells a story about you and that phase of life. Never remove your tattoo.
54) Never stop trying to grow something.
55) Learn how to deep breath and/or meditate.
56) Being alone and being bored are good sometimes. See #55
57) It will never really matter what anyone else thinks of you. Just do the right thing and it will all turn out ok.
58) Always tell the truth.
59) Learn to listen.
60) Be empathetic, compassionate, kind and respectful to everyone including yourself.
61) Never stop being in love.
62) Feel. Everything. Sadness, anger, joy, sorrow, fear, bravery, pride, impatience, peace, humor; all the emotions that make life worth living. All the experiences you will have in life that will be worth remembering will have the greatest feelings attached to them. Don't let anyone ever tell you not to feel, even the bad stuff.
Namaste
Peace out
"Perhaps the mission of those who love mankind (humankind) is to make people laugh at the truth, to make truth laugh, because the only truth lies in learning to free ourselves from insane passion for the truth"
--Aristotle
"When we laugh together, there is instantaneous recognition of "sameness" even in the midst of vast differences."
--Rebecca Foster :-)
"I have been confronted with many difficulties throughout the course of my life, and my country is going through a critical period. But I laugh often, and my laughter is contagious. When people ask me how I find the strength to laugh now, I reply that I am a professional laugher."
--The Dalai Lama
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