The Pith of the Matter: People Suck

“The one thing I have absolute faith in is mankind's capacity to make things worse. No matter how bad it gets, we're all happy to screw each other over. It's enough to make me wonder if we should have let the zombies win.”
― Mira Grant, Deadline

tags: faith, humanity, people-suck

“Anybody who thinks there's nothing wrong with this world needs to have his head examined. Just when things are going all right, without fail someone or something will come along and spoil everything. Somebody should write that down as a fundamental law of the Universe. The principle of perpetual disappointment. If there is a God who created this world, he should scrap it and try again.”
― Athol Fugard, "Master Harold"...and the boys

tags: disappointment, god, law, laws-of-the-universe, life, life-lesson, people, people-suck, religion, universe

          I like to periodically look back on my blogs and read them.  Contrary to some peoples opinions I do not blog because I need for everyone to think like me. AND its not vanity...well maybe a little. :P I blog so I can help, and hopefully lend support, to anyone who thinks like me. But mainly I blog because it helps me. Helps me stay focused. Initially when I write it is because a topic, or idea stands out to me. I believe that it is the universes way of making me aware of something that I need to change in my life, or pay special attention to. These messages come in tidal waves of information which all relate to each other. Lately the topic seems to be people suck.
          It started, as many things do, with a face book post that went something like," a little known Buddhist saying is: people suck." This comment which I think was meant to be humorous was posted on a site known for all things Buddhist and was met with varying thoughts, and comments. The comment that stood out to me the most shared," thanks for keeping it real."
        This prompted me to read back on some of my blogs on being kind and compassionate, which actually covers quite a few. While reading it occurred to me that many of my blogs are written after listening to someone do nothing but berate human kind and everything associated with it. I discovered something about my self.
          I do engage in this behavior. Some one could perceive that this blog right now could be interpreted as technically engaging in negative behavior. I'm not proud of it and am always disappointed when I find that I have done it. I have blogged often on gossiping, using words with caution and respect, and many other topics that convey one basic message and truth.
          Communication is important and how we communicate is even more so. I also have shared that I believe that everyone has the right to share their thoughts, and ideas. Balance comes from communicating, not from the lack of it. Even if you do it wrong initially at least you tried. Eventually if you keep trying you will get it right. And no one is right all the time.
          Why do I, we as a society, feel the need, because I have decided it is so, to communicate with so much negativity? I have blogged on this also. Something occurred to me however that I had never really addressed, and if I have I haven't really given it a lot of thought. Because its easier. Its easier to speak and act like those around us in hopes of fitting in, making friends, and ultimately not being alone, than to stand alone, which is what happens if you are not bashing what ever topic of the day is being bashed. This is kind of a form of bullying when you really think of it. The fact of the matter is no one wants to be alone. No one wants to have to fight for their beliefs. No one wants to feel afraid. Its sometimes much easier to just agree with who ever, what ever, and know inside that they are full of shit.
          Now don't get me wrong. Some of these things and people deserve NOT be supported. But there is a big difference between bashing and choosing to not support a person and/or point of view. You can be unsupportive quietly. Simply keep your mouth shut, turn your back on it, walk away, turn the channel, don't like it on Facebook, don't vote for it, etc., etc,.
          You know how to tell if something is wrong? Pay attention to the people who are screaming the loudest about it. The ones who are quiet will more often than not, but not always, be the ones who are on the side of right. Something to think about with a presidential election looming a head of us.
          I find myself being a hypocrite. I will sometimes engage in gossip. Even though I stand by the idea that it is only gossip if you don't eventually share your thoughts with the person you are talking about. The problem with that idea is that if you vent off a frustration with someone concerning someone else the person who you are venting to, not about, usually gets to the person you are frustrated with before you do. This is then misinterpreted as gossip because people do not realize that the person who turned around and shared confidential information is the one gossiping, not the person who was venting a frustration. I once had a person say to me, "well did you specify that the information was confidential?" Seriously? No, but let me tell you that your inability to not distinguish what you should and should not share with some one else has just taken you out of my inner circle of friends. Thanks for playing.
          In my head is that saying," if they'll talk to you they'll talk about you." Not necessarily true. Depends on the person. I know whom I can safely share information with and not have it go any further and who I can plant information with and know it will find its way back to where I didn't want it to go. Manipulative of me? Sure. I could sit back and just let whom ever think that they are getting the best of me, but my human nature has an issue with this. There is nothing about compassion that states that we should let others take advantage of us. IN fact it is in the art of not being taken advantage of and being compassionate at the same time that makes the difference. In my experience it is very effective to lay some truth out there and let it circle around.
          I feel a sadness when I realize that someone can not be trusted with my feelings and secrets. My failure is in believing that everyone in my life should be able to be trusted. That their respect for me is so great that they will only share what I gift them with my permission. But this is, once again, vanity, and my frailty, not some one else's, and it is only me that deals with the consequences of knowing this about my self.
         Did you every notice that bad news travels much faster than good? There are people out there whom will turn around and share something bad that you said faster then you can blink, but, if you share something good about someone...nothing...seriously? I believe that this is a control issue. These people feel a certain amount of power by creating chaos instead of spreading joy. These same people will look at anyone who try's to be optimistic and compassionate like they have three heads. Which brings me full circle to why we gossip and or engage in communication/behavior that we technically don't agree with.
         I could sit back and beat myself up every time I fail. But I have lived long enough now to realize that every time I fail I am actually learning something. In this particular instance it is that people do truly suck. And I put myself in that category. I am also a people. And I do suck sometimes, my hubby can attest to that. *Yes I know what I did there.
          Here is the Pith of the Matter. On that Facebook post about the little known saying there were some people who took the whole thing way too seriously. For me they were the equivalent of Christian extremist's. They went off saying, in so many words, that when teaching Buddhism everything that is said/taught should be done so with love, kindness, compassion, etc. I kind of think that they are missing the point.
          Buddha taught first, and for most, that we are human and subject to human frailty's. In realizing this, and coming to peace with it, we realize that we will sometimes fail. It is inevitable. IN fact, we will mostly fail. Which is why less than one percent of the population will ever truly attain Nirvana, and/or be enlightened.   Now many out there will say why even try to be Buddhist then? Well I can only speak for myself.
         They way Buddhism is set up, for me, makes me feel a little more confident about failure and the reasons for it. The problem is not when I choose to engage in gossip, negativity, etc. It comes when I don't realize that that is what I just did. AND it does not mean that oh gee I get it, I forgive myself for it, so I can do it again. It means that I am self aware and strive continuously to not be that person that I don't want to be. Do I go home and become depressed, angry with myself etc.? No. That would once again be going against the ideas of Buddhism. It is simply acknowledging that sometimes people do suck, and when you realize this you are understanding that you are putting yourself in that category. After this little enlightenment the next thing to do is laugh, shake your head, look to the universe, say thank you, and then get out there and try again.

Emaho
Namaste
Peace out