Saturday, October 6, 2012

Im Looking Through You

          "WIth wisdom as bright as the sun and the moon, and timely use of skillful means, they make the enterprise of the Great Vehicle prosper and grow, and lead many to attain supreme awakening quickly.   Always living in the blessedness of a reality that is fine and wonderful, with immeasurable great compassion, they save the living from suffering."
_the Lotus Sutra (Buddha speaks of bodhisattva's)
http://www.tricycle.com/new-buddhism/bodhisattvas/what-bodhisattva
http://buddhism.about.com/od/mahayanabuddhism/a/aboutmahayana.htm



         This has been an interesting semester for me.   Hard, but not the way I suspected.   When I first started this semester I was very motivated and full of energy.  I had just taken the summer off, and was relaxed and centered.  I was sure that four classes with two labs would be fine.  I knew that I had two classes that were going to be challanging, but I am not working right now, the kids are grown, and the husband is very supportive.  Then I started feeling off balance. 
          At first I attributed it to having so much work...but I am an organized person so once I had my work load organized I was fine.   Then I thought it was because I was having difficulties in a couple of classes (math especially) but once I started going to tutoring and recieving extra help that cleared up.   Then I realized something.  This semester is encouraging my growth as a person.  Let me explain.
          Three out of four of my classes are ASL 3 (American Sign Language), African American Literature, and World Religion.   The instructors/ professors in each of these classes are outstnding.  Not only do they teach curriculum, but they challange perceptions.   If I had not had all three of these at once I think I would not be changing my percpetion on the world.
          Suddenly I am seeing things, that I knew were there, but didn't observe as closely.   In a nut shell I am suddenly percieving more people, then I orignally had, as having low tollerance and being discriminatory.   Why is this?  Not why am I suddenly seeing this, I know why, my instructors are doing an awesome job and I get what they teach, but why are there so many people out there who choose to be intolerant. 
          I am a social worker, I am Buddhist.  I have seen environments, and people living in them that most of the norm don't even think about.  I am Buddhist for a reason, I believe in love and compassion for all, I believe in teaching the value of understanding suffering and I believe in meditation. 
         What I want to know is why are there so many people out there who are intolerant?  Here is where my mistake on this perception comes in.   I always attributed intollerance mainly to racism, but this is not the case.   Intollerance, at its core, for many people, is directed towards anyone who is not like yourself.  Do you know what that means?  The implications of that? 
         It means that there are a large number of people who basically don't like humankind.  Including, no doubt, themselves.  Such a needless choice in regard to suffereing.   I have an easy solution to this.   The next time you feel yourself starting to say, either in jest, or seriously, something that may be percieved as intolerant, stop yourself; form it as a question instead first inside your head, then out loud.  Start a loving, wise, compassionate, conversation with someone, or a group of others.  
         I will share a personal experience that has made me wiser.  Wednesday evenings I have African American Lit.  I have not other way to explain the following, but I assure you there is no disrespect intended, and if I could explain it with out the following discription I would.  I am one of two white people in the room.   I cannot explain the level of discomfort the first couple of weeks, not in me, but from my classmates.  The first day of class at least three people walked in to the room, looked at me and walked out in confusion.   Many people were afraid to speak their mind, including myself.   I honestly picked up on some, hmmm, negative feelings, from others that were keeping them, and me, from opening up on many topics.   I was interested, and confused.  
          Prejudice is prejudice in any form.  That whole concept or reverse discrimination is rediculous.  The idea of reverse discrimination is basically the idea of being vengful.  So coming from someone who does not promote, encourage, or support discrimination in all its ugly forms seeing it always shocks and saddens me. 
         Here is my mistake in all of this and what I learned form it.  For a couple of weeks I sat and said nothing.   Then a couple of things happened.  One; I started reading the Lotus Sutra; a beautiful Buddhist scripture on how to be loving and compassionate.   Two: I researched some startling information for class concerning how deep racism goes in the American culture, three: I started doing ASL honors and finally four: a heated debate took place in my World Religion class concerning Buddhism.  
         Wow...suddenly the universe had put me in the center of discrimniation and some of it was truley directed towards me.   Being Buddhist I did not react, I took it all in and was truley working from a place of love and compassion.  I explained to a friend during this time, whom I confided in, that I do not need to make anyone else undestand my path.
But I soom realized how wronge I was in this thinking.
         In the spiritual path I have taken not only is it important to be loving and compassionate, it is also important to be wise.  It is important to gain wisdom and then share the wisdom you have learned.  uh oh...sitting and being quiet was not the right thing to do.   So I set about trying to figure out what was the loving, compassionate way to deal with this.
         I used my husband (and many other loved ones) as a sounding board.  Even though he is not Buddhist he gets it and understands me.  In a nut shell it is not what is said but how it is said, and what is said does not have to be agreed upon by someone else.  I just need to share my feelings/ thoughts on what I feel is important, lovingly and compassionately.  Basically it is once again the idea of laying the truth at someones feet and then backing away from it.
         Then I had another thought.  Arn't many of todays problems due to the fact that we, as a society, do not talk to each other?  We don't make the time, and I mean MAKE THE TIME, to just talk with each other.  More importantly LISTEN to each other.   This does not mean you have to agree with the other persons opinion it just means that you agree to at least UNDERSTAND!   Understanding someone else is at the heart of tolerance.  It is at the heart of love,  It is at the heart of compassion.
         So I went out there and started sharing using my whisper voice and the truth as I see it.  I didn't use anger, I used love.  I didn't use intolerance I used respect, and I didn't share impetience or condensation, I used compassion.  Something miraculous happened.  People listened.  People started opening up to me and I listened back.  The learning experience has been invaluable.   We really do want to learn from each other and be better for it; it really does just takes one person.
        At the beginning of every semester I go in with feelings of excitement and motivation.  These usually get derailed (briefly) due to a heavy work load or disenchantment.  I have gone to school many times.  I am fifty years old and much of what is being taught in school I have done already.  The challange is always looking for what I don't already know.  Well what I have learned it not only understanding the concept of tolerance, but being brave and teaching the wisdom of tolerance.  Not just in my blogs, but daily as I see the teachable moment.   The Pith of the Matter is everyday is an opportunity to learn and share what we have learned.  If we all used the opportunitys given to us imagine the great changes that would happen.

"I'm Looking Through You" - The Beatles
I'm looking through you, where did you go?
I thought I knew you, what did I know?
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Your lips are moving, I cannot hear
Your voice is soothing, but the words aren't clear
You don't sound different, I've learned the game
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

You're thinking of me, the same old way
You were above me, but not today
The only difference is you're down there
I'm looking through you, and you're nowhere

Why, tell me why, did you not treat me right?
Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight

I'm looking through you, where did you go
I thought I knew you, what did I know
You don't look different, but you have changed
I'm looking through you, you're not the same

Yeah
Oh baby I'm changed
Ah I'm looking through you
Yeah I'm looking through you

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