Recently some one came straight out and said to me that the reason I frequent certain locations was because I was cougaring....really? This location by the way is a gaming store. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this place it is usually a comic store that also sells Dungeons and Dragons books, Magic Cards, Warhammer sets, etc. (yes I am a nerd of the old school) I was not amused and it momentarily made me feel that I somehow should change myself to change what people may be thinking of me. Then I got to thinking. I have heard this phrase conected to other women. It is thrown around inappropriateely and women get insulted by it. So I concluded that this is one of those words, that once again, people use, but don't really know what it is; then decided to school people once again. :)
First I want to know who first started the "cougar" phrase?
I found this on Yahoo Answers.
"From http://thestar.com.my/english/story.asp?…
" Now, in standard North American English, a “cougar” is a large wild cat sometimes also called a “puma” or a “panther”. Cougars look like female lions, only smaller.
In slang use, however, “cougar” is a term for an older woman who prefers to date younger men. There’s a connotation there of a wily, experienced feline going after a toothsome little rabbit.
While I’ve seen it in Australian and British newspapers, the slang term is far more common in North America.
Most of its popularity stems from a 2001 book by Valerie Gibson, called Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men. This is the sort of book you buy as a joke for your newly single women friends, but one that they will read with interest when no one else is around."
There's lots more at that site. You might like to read it."
" Now, in standard North American English, a “cougar” is a large wild cat sometimes also called a “puma” or a “panther”. Cougars look like female lions, only smaller.
In slang use, however, “cougar” is a term for an older woman who prefers to date younger men. There’s a connotation there of a wily, experienced feline going after a toothsome little rabbit.
While I’ve seen it in Australian and British newspapers, the slang term is far more common in North America.
Most of its popularity stems from a 2001 book by Valerie Gibson, called Cougar: A Guide for Older Women Dating Younger Men. This is the sort of book you buy as a joke for your newly single women friends, but one that they will read with interest when no one else is around."
There's lots more at that site. You might like to read it."
Source(s):
and this
and finally
Why else did I want to know this? Well from the time this phrase originated, evidentally sometime in the 80's, when I was in my 20's by the way, every woman over the age of 30, whether she was single or not became suspect.
Before cougar originated it was the male who was primarily rewarded, seldom ridiculed, for his interest in the younger opposite sex.. It was considered almost acceptable for a man to be on the prowl for younger females even if he was married. Hugh Hefner was, and is still considered, to be an excellent role model for this. Both sex's were taught that men were born this way, and women were taught to accept that males used this behavior. Bleh! This whole idea impies that men are incapable of forming a rational, intellegent thought and are primarily driven by instinct and hormones. They some how supposedly knew the difference between right and wrong, but testosterone kept them from making a good choice. (For crying out loud... )
So while women were fighting for their rights we were being told by men, who advocated infidelity with the testoserone defense, that we were incapable of behaveing like them and there fore were unable to do there jobs/roles in society. (see where I am going with this.)
Then information started becoming public about how females engage in the same reckless behavior as men. How dare we! We were mothers and house wives! (and sometimes even grandmothers!) Before this we kept quiet, and put on a brave face while we pretended to be ok being between a rock and a hard place. If we showed confidence in ourselves by choosing to dress in a way that WE percieved ourselves as attractive then we were,"asking for it." If we didnt we were frumps. (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=frumps) Our kids, and spouse were usually embarrassed by our appearance, in either dress choice, and this would usually end up in our husbands leaving for a younger girl; who was percieved as dressing appropriateley, even though she was dressing as a cougar herself. Of course she was young and not on the prowl!?! (so does this mean she was a sex kitten? Which implies some thing softer, younger and more cuddly.) Once again I say for all females everywhere BLEH!
We were all young once and every female at some age will prowl. (Whether you are a cougar or kitten.) We want what men want. We show ourselves off to attrack the best possible mate in order to propegate the best possible outcome, namely a good brood and the best provider. Shit I got two sons out of my choice! I think I did pretty damn good, and would never have landed such a fine speciman if it hadn't been for showing some clevage. (He is, and would admit to, being a "boob" man.) I, on the other hand, was attracted to his wit, his confidence, his humor, his blue eyes, and his independance. Those qualitys make a great husband.
I continue to stay attractive and show some cleavage because it is what he likes; NOT because I am cougaring. Shame on society for not knowing the difference. While many people will say this in jest they forget that it may be percieved as an insult. I am proud that I have been with the same man for 28 years, especially in this day and age. My husband and I are great role models for how to sustain a happy marriage and this is reflected in our sons; who make excellent relationship choices. (Like father like sons.)
I resent that I (or any female for that matter) am some how suppose to conform to what society thinks I should be. Conforming never leads to happiness unless you are confortable and confident in joining the norm. I believe that their is a time to conform, like driving on the road for instance. Ignore the rules of safe driving and people get hurt. But is choosing to dress like what society says you should a good choice for everyone? Is that a conformity that we should abide by? Yes...if we want a job then sometimes we have to conform. I think it is more appropriate to teach the rules of conformity and the responsbility that comes with that instead of ridiculeing those who choose not to conform. If you choose to dress this way these are the possible outcomes, NOT the probable ones.
I know many people young and old who choose to dress in ways that the norm, meaning the majority of society, feels uncomfortable with. The obvious choice under these circumstances is usually to change the way people percieve you. Change the way you dress? Not necessarily. If you choose to dress in a way that society is unfamiliar with and uneducated on; then set about making them familiar with, educated on and ultimately comfortable with your choice. This first, and most importantly, means you must be comfortable with your choice. This also means you have choosen the rold of teaching; everyone has the role of teacher in some form or another, at one time or another. But, educateing people on the topic of perception is far more effective then telling someone they are wrong, and it is honorable.
The pith of the matter? Think before you speak. Educate your self so that people take you seriously when speak. Back it up with facts. Be informed. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Then if you unintentionally hurt someone by what you say; you will be confident in knowing that you were able to say it with confidence; not because you need to be right with someone, but because you need to feel right about your self.
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