Sunday, January 5, 2014

What We Can Learn From Socks.

         

           My sister and I talk at least once a week on a variety of topics.   The last time we talked she told me she was attempting to organize her sock basket.  For those of you who don't know what this is, in our family, and others I assume, we take all of our socks, as they come out of the dryer, and shove them into one laundry basket to be sorted.  Sorting socks was a chore that my sons partook in when they were young.  I could set them in front of the TV. while they sorted socks.  A great small chore to teach them simple math skills, colors, and of course contributing to the household.
          The problem with the sock basket scenario is socks end up staying the basket indefinitely, and, eventually multiplying...on their own...truly...its a little scary actually.  This family sock basket commonality lead us to start discussing what happens to the other sock?  Where does it go?  They seem to just vanish into thin air! 
          I explained to my sister that baby and children's socks are worse than adult socks!  In my opinion children can go barefoot.  Thank goodness there is evidence out there now that suggests that children should learn to walk barefooted, and that going barefoot is healthy for you. 
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-9099/the-surprising-health-benefits-of-going-barefoot.html
http://www.education.com/magazine/article/Barefoot_Best/
           We got a little imaginative in our hypothesis's of where the socks go.  We discussed, problem solved, and rationalized the sock problem.  In the end I developed a few hypothesis addressing the universal sock problem.  
          There is the sock gnome hypothesis that suggests, like underwear gnomes, a little gnome comes into your home every night, when everyone is asleep, crawls into dryers, sock drawers, under beds, across bedroom floors, next to couches, any where socks are left, and takes one sock...just one.  You would like to think that they take socks that are colorful in design, or unusual looking because, well, they are gnomes and that is what gnomes do...but then how do you account for tube socks?  What I think is gnomes take socks, and then, tailor them for clothing...different sizes for different gnomes.  Different colors etc. for different occasions.  Maybe medical gnomes need the white tube socks, while mortician, or Goth, gnomes need the black ones.  Think about it, the scenarios for socks, and different gnomes clothing, could be endless!

          The next hypothesis is the sock black hole.  Like a black hole in outer space, but, a place where only socks get sucked into.  This sock black hole is only able to grab, and absorb, one sock at a time, which is why most of the time we will only loose one sock, maybe two, in a night, while it is first evolving.  As it absorbs a sock it grows in size, enabling it to absorb more and more socks, which causes the sock basket to grow.  No one has tested whether or not if a sock basket is present, or not, whether socks will stop disappearing.  Some believer's feel that the sock basket is not the catalyst, that is in fact the sock it self which encourages and supports not only the sock basket, but the sock black hole..

           Next the dog ate my sock hypothesis; actually more theory than hypothesis.  If you have a dog you understand this and I need not explain any farther.


          The class/caste system sock hypothesis.  Socks are snobs and will separate themselves from other socks that they find unworthy, even if they are in a pair.  Sock untouchable's so to speak. Question is where do the Braheim socks go?  Well duh...sock nirvana!  They have completed their journey of sockdom; the sock wheel no longer turns for them.   No one can explain, not even one sock to another, what this sock nirvana experience is...it is sock nirvana, and quite individual to each individual sock.

          Its the husbands, or kids fault theory.  The most rational, realistic, factual and scientific explanation for non spiritual sock persons.  If they would just put their socks in the laundry basket and/or drawers properly, folded together, socks would not disappear...as much.

          Just for my sister, the Big Foot Sock.  This large clumsy beast sneaks into your homes, when no one is about, and finds used socks that smell good, or bad to us.  Which is why we will always have new socks, but only seem to loose used socks after they have been worn out, and the smell never seems to leave them.  The Big Foot Sock will only come when you are out because, well, he cant really hide that well in enclosed places, and he is, of course shy.  He can hide in shadows, and stealth very effectively after years of practice trying to avoid the Big Foot paparazzi, so he can sneak around neighborhoods fairly well.   This also explains why you will come home, sometimes, and find the house in chaos...thought is was the dog, or cats fault huh!?!  Wrong...its the Big Foot Sock.  ;)  Now those confused, I don't know what happened, it wasn't me looks on your pets faces make sense right!  Also of note; I did a little research and found that there is actually a big foot brand of sock out there.  Perhaps the old socks are being recycled? ...just sayin

           The Sock-ness monster hypothesis.  The mythical beast made up of socks since socks were invented by Thomas Kelly and Hugh Ryan in 1875.  We could go back farther to cave man days where cave persons made socks out of animal skins, and tied them to their feet with strips of leather...but in my opinion the cave persons had no experience with missing socks.  These ancestors never took those historic socks off until they needed new ones.  Not a pleasant visual...also debunking that missing socks began with cavemen.
    The very first sighting of the lock-ness monster was in 1933.  The first scrub board was invented in 1797, the first electric washing machine invented in 1908.  See where I am going with this?  Neither do I...but they are some pretty cool facts and it does explain that the sock dilemma has been going on for some time.
          Here is the Pith of the Matter on socks.  First of all I believe that there is no way to avoid loosing socks.  If some one tells you they have never lost a sock in their life they are lying to you.  Everyone looses socks.  Knowing this should make you feel comforted; you are not alone.  Secondly; buy stock in socks.  No one ever talks about this?  Sure AT&T stock is great, Harley Davidson, Wal-Mart, (who by the way probably has some kind of contract with sock manufacturers...maybe even the big foot sock company?) and others, but what about sock stock?  I mean really think about it!  Almost everyone wants, needs and wears socks!  Everyone looses socks which promotes buying more socks! 
          Thirdly, and undoubtedly the most important point,  feel sorry for all those poor mismatched socks living in a heap in the bottom of someone's sock basket.  They are suffering. Find a way to reuse them; which maybe is suppose to be what the universe is trying to teach us.  Its not the missing sock we should pay attention to, but the ones left behind.  The existing sock, still struggling to survive, to find a place in our world.
https://www.google.com/#q=what+to+do+with+leftover+socks  Here are all the different sites to address the world wide suffering of mismatched socks.  Please find what works for you and give a lonely sock a purpose.
Peace out
Namaste

When I was a little girl you used to learn to sew all the holes in things, darning socks, but nobody mends things anymore. -Vivienne Westwood

When I was 7, I came up with the idea of "charm socks."  My mom would take me to buy bags of plastic charms, we would sew them on frilly white socks, and I sold them at school.  -Sara Blakely



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