One never goes so far as when one doesnt know where one is going.-Goethe
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. -Santayana
Time is right for a New Years blog. I am not going to discuss , or rehash, all the events of the past year...see previous blogs. :P Actually Ive been thinking on this resolution habit that comes around once a year. It got me to thinking, once again, about attachments, addictions, and the norm. So with out further confusion lets get right to the point. :)
I can't remember the last time I made a New Years resolution. I think I was in my teens and at an age when fitting in with every body else was important. I personally never liked the idea of resoutions that are made only once a year. I often wonder what is wrong with making decisions based on kindness, either to others or ourselves, more than once a year? When you look up the deffinition of resolution Im not quite convinced that it applies to the intent behind New Years resolutions. Here is the site with the deffinition instead of me just writing it out for you. :D
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/resolution?s=t http://thesaurus.com/browse/resolution?s=t
Based on these deffinitions I form questions. For one...should we all be getting together as a group and making a decision to deal with circumstances, dutys, events, possesions, etc. together? And if we should then why arent we? Or do we just decide, individually, on how we are going to make a particular facet of our lives better? And just how do we judge this? I mean do we make a resolution based on what others think we should change? Or what we think we should change in ourselves? And if we do this alone, with out any outside influence, could it be percieved as being selfish. And arnt most resolutions kinda selfish anyways? I mean arnt most of them made to have some positive result for us? Even if we make a resolution to do something for someone else doesnt it ultimately end up giving us a positive benefit of some kind? Too many questions associated with something that only takes place once a year. I wonder if some of the questions would answer them selves if it wasnt a once a year habit. And I say habit instead of tradition.
A habit is http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/habit?s=t
A tradition is http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/tradition?s=t
I think the big difference in these deffinitions here is that one has addiction in it, the other does not.
When making a resolution most people decide upon items like loosing weight, eating better, saving money, go on a vacation (for work aholics), be nicer to family, stop drinking alcohol, stop taking drugs...you get the idea. (All of these could be percieved as being addictive in nature.) But I think that these kinds of "resolutions" set many up for immediate failure. These are the top 10 resolutions people will make.
http://pittsburgh.about.com/od/holidays/tp/resolutions.htm
SO why are we unable to keep reslutions? First of all they are to generic and broad. Saying I will drop 10 pounds is more realistic or I won't drink anymore soda is easier to follow through on; instead of I want to drop weight, get more fit, or loose 50 pounds. I will have at least 100 dollars in my bank account at this time next year is attainable instead of I will watch my spending. I will go to AA or NA meetings is a first step and gets you support that you need to be successful instead of I will stop drinking and/or doing drugs. I will say I love you and/or hug someone in my life at least once a day is realistic instead of I will be nicer to my family. When we are realistic about what we are actually able to achieve we become successful. Success, no matter how small, makes us feel good! (By the way any change is easier when you incorporate a group of people to help you.) SO why do we opt to make resolutions that we know we probably won't keep?
I think that the idea of a New Years resolution is old, and dated, and gives people a reason to fail from the get go. Its the American way! Part of the American dream; not being able to distinguish between what we are actually able to obtain, and what is just advertising. I mean really, and answer this honsetly, how many of you set resolutions only to never beable to follow through on them? I mean really? Why would you set yourself up for failure from the get go? Its almost like we need to give our selve permission once a year to fail? That is the American dream! We can all have 2.3 kids with two cars, a tv in every room of the house, at least one computer in the home, the most current clothing and shoes, etc. etc. But the things in life that really matter we cant seem to grasp.
All of this brain washing during this time of the years sets us all up to fail! THe season of giving comes only once a year!?! And it is followed by a time to make resolutions that the majority of Americans will never keep. Yes we all, as Americans have the opportunity to succeed. We have much more at our disposal then many other countrys. BUT having stuff, is not the same as success. Once again, more is just more. We all live in a society where obtaining material things seems to be easy; but obtaing real happiness is out of reach for so many people. Mabey the real way to make and keep a New Years resolution is to define your true meaning of success; then set about getting that.
OR here's a thought why not just make the resolution to allow your self to fail this year? (sarcasm) Or how about this... you be a little kinder and say I will be more tolerant when I, or someone I know, makes a mistake? Its really only a failure when we don't learn from it right? AHA!!! There it is....The Pith of the Matter; learn that making resolutions is not working for you and choose something more attainable that will make you successful! That is the reality of being American; NOT the dream!
Make it simple, make it something that will spread joy; that will give you joy! Make it something that you know you will be successful at! Like just being a kinder person. We all can always be kinder. Even those who pride themselves at being kind and compassionate can tell storys of instances in their lives where they felt they learned to be kinder people. Here are some sites on ideas to help you out!
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2010/05/07/how-to-be-kinder/
http://www.virtuesforlife.com/100-ways-to-be-kinder/
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-5915/How-to-Be-a-Kinder-More-Loving-Person.html
So how about instead of making a New Years resolution we choose to make authentic lifestyle choices that we know we will succeed at! Here is the deffinition of lifestyle. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lifestyle?s=t I personally believe that when we choose to change the life we live for better we become more successful than if we would make a once a year resoltuion. Something for you to think about. :) Happy 2013!
PS...Remember my blog on making the season of giving something more than once a year? Well this fits into that. Being kind is a way to give of yourself year round. :)
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