Holiday Traditions

     I love the holiday season even though I am not Christian.  My husband is however, he is Catholic; but that is not the only reason we observe Christmas.   In our house we have formed another tradition; the holiday season is a great time to gather friends and family together and eat drink and be merry.   Every Christmas eve we open our house wide to everyone and anyone;  it is one of the only times during the year that I will drink with out reservation.   This too has become a tradition.  I found out this year that many of my sons friends come by to observe me being a little tipsy (even drunk some years).  They then try to engage me in intellectual conversations thinking. foolishly that they might come out ahead of the game. (that's a challenge to them for next year  :P)  Sometimes they actually do, not really to my surprise.  They are all intelligent out spoken individuals.   Anyways...the conversations have become part of our Holiday tradition at the (as my eldest son puts it) Bungart elder house and it gives me thought for writing.
     Its interesting to me how conversations wind, bend and turn.  What starts out as one topic usually ends up at another; but they are always linked to each other.   This year we started discussing how everyone lies.  I agree'd; I have posted many blogs on this topic.  Truth and honesty are subjective and a matter of perspective.  I personally find it hard to pass judgement in this area.  One's persons lie is another persons truth.  The conversation of lies wound to manipulation, which then bent to feeling unfulfilled, which turned to protesting.  Confused?  Don't be I am about to clear it up for you.
     I am not going to give my opinion on truth and honesty, been there done that go read my other blogs.   Lets jump right into manipulation.  Manipulation is defined as the act of manipulating or skillful, or artful management; to negotiate, control, or influence something, or someone, cleverly, skillfully, or deviously.   This is subjective and a matter of perspective again I think.  If you are the manipulator the manipulation is probably perceived as clever, skillful, artful, and for a good purpose.  If you are the manipulatee then perhaps it is not viewed this way. 
     Manipulation is used daily.  We use it with our children, significant others, friends, coworkers, salespeople, the person we rear ended, the list goes on and on.   The point is I think it is one of those words that, once again, has gotten a bad rap.   People don't like to feel that they have been managed (or controlled) by something, or someone, other than themselves.  Everyone likes to feel that every decision, and choice, we make is made with out any outside influence what so ever; but I am here to tell you that that is not the case.  If you are familiar with the concept of empathy then you will not only shape, form, manage, mold or manipulate others you will have the same done to you. 
     Empathy denotes a deep emotional understanding of another's feelings or problems while sympathy is more general and can apply to small annoyances or setbacks.   Sympathy means the stimulation in a person of feelings that are similar in kind to those that affect another person; empathy means a mental or effective projection into the feelings of state of mind of another person.   It is crucial in effective manipulation when their is a possible crises at hand that needs to be addressed and the manipulator suspects there will be opposition.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201109/the-art-influence
This is an article in Psychology Today on The Art of Influence by Carlin Flora and address's the art of manipulation and empathy.
     I am going to jump forward in the conversation to the protesting part.  Protest is an expression or declaration of objection, disapproval, or dissent, often in opposition to something a person is powerless to prevent or avoid; self explanatory I think, no examples needed.  Protesting comes under the right to free speech and the right to assemble.  Freedom of speech includes some of the following; not to speak, to use objectionable language and to engage in symbolic speech.  Freedom of Assembly gives American citizens the right to express their ideas and their unity behind these ideas peacefully.  There are all kinds of little loop holes associated with these so before you decide to go out and protest make sure you have done your homework
I did some research, after our holiday conversation, and Daytona Beach is actually occupied!  :)  You can stay on top of the protesting at;  Occupy Daytona Beach on Facebook.. http://www.facebook.com/groups/136400829796778/    There are a couple of other ones also when you search.
     Here's the Pith of the Matter which leads me to feeling fulfilled and will bring it altogether.   I cannot speak for others on this topic, I can only speak for myself in hopes that it will shed a little light.   I have stated and even ranted on many occasions that we, as a society, fail when we think and act selfishly.   Humans are not wired to be selfish.  Yes sometimes for our own health and well being we need to perform a selfish act.  But when the selfish act turns into a lifestyle then their is a problem.  Human beings are wired to be empathetic social beings.   Even those of us who prefer solitude to gatherings still get out and socialize.   Study's have been done on what happens to humans who do not have social interaction.  (This memory of hundreds of Romanian children in orphanage's, cribs crammed up against each other, sometimes two to three baby's in a crib, many of them self consoling themselves by rocking back and forth because there were not enough caregivers to give them love, is for ever burned on my brain.)   
     As adults we have the ability to recognize that when we start to view the world, even our small portion of it, as full of uncaring, hypocritical, thoughtless, lyers it is time to do something.   When we have have become so angry and frustrated over the state of the world that we have become part of the problem and all we can do is complain then it is time to reconsider our level of empathy and apply it to something fulfilling.   I cannot tell anyone what they need to do or what they should do to feel fulfilled.  What I have chosen to do speaks only of and for me as an individual.  What I do know for certain is that making a choice to do something that you feel is morally responsible helps you feel fulfilled.
     The definition of fulfilled is to carry out or bring to realization as a prophecy, or promise, to perform or do, to satisfy, to bring to an end, finish or complete, to develop the full potential of.   Does this mean that we all need to go sit and protest in occupied Daytona? No.  But if it is something that will help you feel that you have done your part to remind others of a promise made and will help you to feel complete and realize your potential to do something more than YES you should.  We all have different promises and prophecy's to perform in order to feel fulfilled.  The point is to find out what yours is and go do it to the best of your ability.
I leave you with two quotes.
"Success, happiness, peace of mind, and fulfillment-the most priceless of human treasures-are available to all among us, without exception, who make things happen, who make "good" things happen- in the world around them."
"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have."