News broadcasts give us breif little blurbs on the supposed findings regarding the outcome(s) of study's/polls done over a period of time regarding one thing or another. Popular magazines and newspaper articles do the same. Here is the catch though. The information highway that the majority of the "norm" belongs to does NOT actually provide us with all the necessary information to make an informed decision/opinion. It is the job of these popular news outlets (and I use news very loosly) to give as little information to as many people as possible in as short a time as possible. Yes they to have an agenda...more listeners, more money. The sad part of all this inaccurate information is we have developed, supported and even encouraged practically a whole culture of arm chair psychologists.
What is an arm chari pyschologist? Im glad you asked. This is from the "Urban Dictionary"
| 1. | armchair psychologist | |
A person who gives advice for mental disorders, emotional disorders, or any other mental illness and has no known background knowledge of psychology. More than just advice with no clinical know how. | ||
Once again I state with spittle shooting all over the monitor BLEH!!! With all that said I am going to share some FACTS in hopes of arming some of the arm chair psycho's with information to keep them from causing more mental instability the world.
First lets look at HIPPA. Basically HIPPA is the law that was put into effect to protect EVERYONE from others sharing personal health information. Mostly we see this in any kind of medical feild. BUT its also used in Social Work, Schools, work places etc. Any where that there is the possibility that you have to share your personal information with some one. This person you share it with is obligated UNDER the law to not repeat it to just anyone. If it becomes necessary for them to do so for any reason you have to give written permission. The following website gives the exact details of HIPPA.
http://whatishipaa.org/
Here's an interesting moral question attached to that idea how ever. When you are in a relationship, whether it be friendship, sister, brother, husband , wife, etc. how does HIPPA apply to you? The only relationship that specifically signs a "contract," so to speak, is husband and wife. That contract basically says to love and honor through sickness and health. Hmmm...kinda like HIPPA. What about family and friends though? My thoughts are this on that subject. When we choose to enter a relationship with anyone we are saying that I will honor, respect and even love you, but their are conditions. In my book the only unconditional relationship I have is with my children. They are perfect... :P (no pressure their for them Im sure...) They will always be my children no matter what.
Be petient...I will clarify all of this. When I became a mom I did not put conditions on myself, or my sons, for loving them or them loving me. That is not true with other adult relationships however, my husband and I have been together for over 30 years and let me tell you in order to make that relationship work there has been conditions. The marital contract basically states that you will do what is necessary (with in realistic reason) to sustain a supportive loving relationship. So, for example, I learned to stop being a three headed creature when he did something stupid and we both learned to communicate in a more respectful, loving manner. In 30 years of marriage we have never stopped loving each other, but their are days where we most certainly don't like each other, sometimes even come close to hate; but it is that contract that keeps us respecting each other. The unconditional love that I have for my sons is a form of a contract also. The pledge of being a parent holds me to the fact that I will love them always; may not like some of the choices they make, but I will always love them. But what if the relationship is a friendship or a sibling?
In the career I have choosen I believe their is one aspect that will vicitmize and enable an individual or family faster then any other. It is not poverty, people can find a way to make money or live with in their means. It is not drugs, or inadequate schooling, lack of transportaion, or homelesness. Behind all of those is no support, it is being, or feeling alone. And there is no faster way to make some one feel alone then for an arm chair psycho to dispense their inadequate and unsupported knowledge. (or lack of knowledge.) (This is the part where I say) WTF? The Pith of the Matter here is; just because you (the arm chair psycho) doesnt understand the life, the choices, or the person doesnt mean that there is something mentally and/or emtotionally wrong with the person you CHOOSE (by the way) to not understand.
Here is a deffinition I want you to all take note of. http://www.thefreedictionary.com/norm In this deffinition there are certain words that repeat themselves,
standard, rule, model, pattern, mean, type, measure, average, par, criterion, benchmark, yardstick
...interesting. I have the following opinion concerning the norm. The norm was developed by social scientists to measure behavior, which is hard to do by the way. The "norm" will define basic social behaviors, rules, etc. that the majority of society subscribe to. It has some merit; it was designed to measure behavior and it does help society work together as a team; but here's the thing. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT THAT BEHAVIOR IS RIGHT!!!! (geesh) The KKK hs a standard (norm) of behavior but I think we can all agree that they have some issues, and not good one.
So follow me here. Imagine the following scenario. An adolescent child, male or female doesnt matter which, attends a public school in a low income area. Because of the socioeconomic status of this particular environment this particular child, whose strengths by the way tend towards imangination and creativity, does not have access to the arts in school. There is however a great sports program. Because this child is unable to develop his/her talents and recieve praise for them he/she decides to express creativity through lifestyle choices; dressing in Goth or Emo attire for instance. Because the public school leans heavily towards a different kind of culture and "strength" (a sports program that makes money) the children who excell at sports (some of them but not all) ridicule and bully what they don't understand (the arts). And why shouldn't they?
They public school they are attending doesn't make a great effort to teach tollerance in this area because they are unable to supply the tools that would encourage tollerance in this area. (thankyou tax payers, yes you parent). It is human nature to not understand what we are unfamiliar with... it is called culture shock. Now take this scenario with the adolescent child, who is all alone, just incase you havn't already thought of that, and put an arm chair pyscho in it and what do you think happens to that kid? If he/she makes it through high school with out dropping or, committing suicide, or taking a shot gun to their classmates then one of two things happens. They either become stronger, extremely successful members of society (The great and powerful Woz or Bill Gates) or they become part of that miniority who will never recognize their potential because their potential was never recognized when they needed it most. They go through a large portion of their life hearing the taunts and voices of the arm chair pyscho's.
Where are their family you ask? Good question. Well some of their siblings excell in sports and cheerleading so they are embarrassed by their siblings supposed lack of social graces. And most parents aren't equipped to know how to deal with this child, emotionally and intellectually. Too bad when you think of it...how many great artist's have we let fall through the net because they were not identified? Its so much easier to ignore, ridicule, bully and use pop psychology then to really look and listen.
NOw let me give you more to think about. Did you know their are very few people actually walking around with actual diagnosis from a medical professional? I mean a medical professional who is actully qualified to make a diagnosis in the field of behavior science/ behavior medicine. AND with the pharmacuetical companys out there now influencing every aspect of our lives so they can line their pockets with an ungodly sum of money it has become more profitable for many of those professionals to make a buck instead of makeing a clear headed successful, self confident, individual. The following is a website that explains how a diagnosis is made, http://ezinearticles.com/?What-Is-Diagnosis&id=95204
Here is what I also know, from experience, about diagnosis. Diagnosing takes time and someone who knows what they are doing. When it comes to diagnosing a mental or emotional disorder this is especially difficult. Take for instance a child who is exhibitting the following; anger, bullying, can't sit still, incomplete homework assignments, few if any friends. Hmmm...could be ADHD, it is one of the most commonly diagnosed behavior/learning disability's today. But it could also be abuse and or neglect. Or it could be he is coming from a single parent household where the family is struggling with no support or help from anyone. With out a long term observation of the child under many different circumstances there is no way to really know. I remember having a class years ago where we were given two lists with very similar behaviors on them. One list was what professionals use to diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder, the other were symptoms of abuse/ neglect. With out a lengthy observation from an ubiased professional a misdiagnosis in this area could be devestateing. More often then not though neither of these diagnosis's would happen. What society usually does is give the child a pill to calm him down so OTHERS can deal with him. Sad what we have become....a culture where we choose not to help an individual deal effectively with their emotions.
In the end this is what I think and always rant about. Know what you are talking about! Not knowing how a word is defined goes beyond not understanding the definition of Malapoopism. (look it up on Urban Dictionary). When we choose not to communicate respectfully we are ultimately sending a message that we don't really care what we say to whom or why. Worse yet we do not respect ourselves. We argue our point with little to no information to back it up, sometimes doing much harm to people we love all in effort to win and make our lives easier. I am not assuming that the sister who arm chair pyscho's another sister means to hurt her...but it does.
Our friends, siblings, and spouses are given the ultimate trust. We entrust them to take our personal secrets and understand. If we are depressed, angry, anxious, frustrated, excited, exstatic, (all those very intense emotions that our loved ones sometimes find it hard to deal with), we expect our trusted loved ones to take those emotions and understand where the intensity comes from. In my final sentance let me make it clear to the psycho...the intensitiy of an emotion does not, the majority of the time, come from a mental or emotional instabillity...mabey someone is genuinly, and rightfully so, pissed off at you...buck up, put on your big person pants and be accountable.
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