State of Woe

         ...Some are ashamed of what is not shameful,

And shameless about what is shameful.

Following such false views, They go to a sorrowful state.

Some are fearful where there is nothing to fear

And are fearless where there is much to fear

Holding such false views

They go to a sorrowful state

Some see what is right as wrong

And what is wrong as right

Holding such false views

They go to a sorrowful state

Those who see wrong as wrong

And right as right

Hold right views

And for to a joyful state.

-State of Woe, The Dhammapada

           I believe that there are certain times during the year that life starts to feel harder.  Not quite sure why this happens, could be for a variety of reasons.  Stress at home, stress at work, stress at school, holidays coming up, lack of sleep, poor diet, too much caffeine, too little caffeine, the person who cut you off in traffic then gave you the finger, the brakes going out on the car, a total stranger bitching at you for just doing your job....the list is endless.   I also believe that, for what ever reason these things are never timed perfectly and they will all happen at the same time.   Why does his happen?   Well I've been researching this and this is what I've come up with.
          One-   Its LIFE...simple but true.   If you choose to engage yourself in life you will end up dealing with life.   The more you engage in life the more life experiences you will have.  The less you choose to engage life, the less life experiences you will have.   Experience gives us wisdom, the more wisdom you have concerning life the easier life feels.  This explains why some one so young can have wisdom beyond their years and why someone so old doesn't have a clue.  Life experiences.   (This also supports being involved-see "What If" blog.)
          Two-   I think most things in life are suppose to feel hard.  If it feels hard you know you are LEARNING  The trick is what are you suppose to be learning?  Is it hard because it is suppose to be something you should not be dealing with; that is not your strength, or that would be better left to someone else?  OR is it hard just because it is an experience you haven't had before?   First day of a job or school is a perfect example of this.  I personally don't think anyone should ever stop doing something because it is too hard.  How are you going to find out if you are good at it unless you give it time to feel easy?   The hardest and greatest jobs I have ever had are mother, wife and social worker.   The moments of complete ease I have had doing these three have been spaced pretty far apart; but they are the only jobs I have had where I have had the feelings of ease.  I also know exactly what things I am completely comfortable with leaving up to someone who has a greater ease at doing those things that feel hard to me.  
          Three-  This is a big one that I am just learning myself.   We are suppose to suffer, it is what life is all about.   I know I know...suffer is a dirty word, no one wants to think about all the SUFFERING that goes on to everyone in the world on a daily basis.   But point out to me one person who has never suffered in one form or another.   There are many definitions of suffer which are obvious and I will not list them all.  The only one I want to stress is; to undergo or experience any action, process, or condition.   To suffer change.   Huh....So what is change?   To make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of something different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.  One more- nature- the universe with all its phenomena.
          The Pith of the Matter here is that when we choose to avoid suffering we are avoiding the natural flow of change.  We are not being mindful of the natural flow of the universe and all its phenomena.  The real suffering begins when we do not understand the natural flow of suffering and make choices to make it worse.  Death is awful, I think everyone will agree that death is the ultimate source of suffering.   We wail, and scream and carry on when we are confronted with death.  But death is actually the end of suffering for some; we make a choice to continue it by the way we greet it or say goodbye to it.   Sickness, hunger, homelessness, abuse, neglect these are all base sufferings.  Yet we will focus more on the fact that we eat too much, our home isn't big enough, its been two weeks since she has called me and paid attention to me.   Silly needless suffering.  
          When you are feeling down, abused, neglected, taken advantage of, under paid, over tired, hungry, overworked, depressed for no reason remember those in the world who are truly suffering.   Then get involved.   You don't have to go out and volunteer at a soup kitchen all you have to do is something; you can help an elderly person out to their car with grocery's.  Open a door for someone, smile at a stranger, say good morning, read something philosophical, garden, get a pet, eat better, go for a walk, talk to a friend, talk to your family.  The idea is to just go do something instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and making the suffering worse then it needs to be.   You are the one who chooses the level of your suffering regardless of what the suffering is.  
          There is something called the weeping Buddha.   They are usually carved out of wood.  It is a Buddha hunched over in fetal position with his hands covering his head and legs crossed.   He is meditating on suffering; giving up to it.  He reminds us that there are greater things in the world then our own selfish sufferings.  I guarantee that this Buddha would never meditate on the injustice of not being able to afford a bigger house or choosing to quit school cause its too hard.   
          Suffering is given to us to put life in its proper perspective. I am a HUGE advocate of a good cry, ask anyone who knows me, I am also a big advocate of a good rant and even a good rage quit every once in awhile.  But only if these are not a bad habit that supports an addictive lifestyle.  Addiction is defined as the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes sever trauma.  While this definition specifically says narcotics we all know that there are addictions to non narcotics.  Including behaviors.    
          Do we avoid suffering because we are afraid?   Or do we engage in suffering in hopes of gaining experience and wisdom?  It is a hard path to choose and follow, but I fully intend to find the wisdom and ease at the other end.   Hope to see you there.