Argh....You know this one is going to be good when I start right off with the sound of frustration. Ever loose your focus? I really really dislike when it happens to me; worse yet I sense that people around me who care for me become confused and concerned. I believe focus is a goal, but bigger. Focus keeps us grounded and on the path we want to walk in life. It really is a challange to walk this path of focus daily. We are tempted daily with "things" and people that life contains. So how do we keep that focus and keep the trivialities of life from distracting us?
Lets define a few things first shall we. :) The definition we will..um focus on...is; a central point, as of attraction, attention, or activity. Simple. In Buddhism focus is pretty important; but once again takes practice practice practice. In order to gain focus you first must obtain morality, then concentrated meditation, then wisdom. Here is the interesting thing however...these are taken in baby steps. It is hard to look at the big picture right at the beginning when learning these three. It is easier to take morality as it pertains to say...interacting with others daily; use concentrated meditation to ask and answer questions concerning dealing with people; and then, comes wisdom in this area. After you have gained focus in this area move then move to the next thing; body awareness for instance, or compassion, love, a healthier lifestyle, etc., etc.. It is good to be aware of the fact that all of these are good to have on a daily basis; but why set yourself up for failure? Focus on one thing at a time, give it your all, then move to the next while still keeping the focus on what you have already learned. Before you know it SUCCESS! All done. Back to the thing I want to talk about though; the loss of focus.
There are so many thing in our lives that can cause us to stray from the core essentials in life. Those core values that truley make us happy. In social work they are called the basic needs. Home, food, love, cleanliness, education. Easy huh. So if these are the basic needs how much of these do we need? Do we really need a huge home filled with the best of everything; or is having humble surroundings sufficient? Do we need to eat steak every night? Or is having something healthy and nutritious ok? Is the pursuit of wisdom limited to college educations? Or does it also mean listening, observing and seeing as much of the world, and everything, and everybody that it contains just as important? Does love just mean sex? Or does it mean participateing compassionately, daily, with all human kind with out judgement? I don't think I need to tell you which are the right answers.
One of the questions my Catholic husband posed to me is on the question of reincarnation. "Why do people always say that they were some great historical figure, or peace loving animal? And why do they always want to return as something better then they think they already are?" Well to be honest I didn't know...so I set about finding out.
What I found was it has to do with Karma. Karma is the good or bad emanations felt to be generated by someone or something. So basically if you say,"I want to come back as a mass murderer" it is bad Karma; so Buddhists avoid saying such things. We say,"I want to return as one of the yellow butterflys that play with each other all day in my back yard." Good Karma. Even though we are aware that we do not get to choose what we retrun as. We can only choose to live an authentic life to try to obtain less suffereing now, and later.
We also avoid people who generate bad Karma. Interestingly enough I recently learned that persons, who we call friends (more like close aquaintances), can generate bad Karma. They argue, debate, don't listen, complain, victimize, judge, and have general bad attitudes about a multitdue of things. Interesting...I know people like this. We all do. I have been critisized for detaching from them. But according to the Dali Lama, who I am inclined to listen too, we need to detach from these people. We meditate in such a way that we put ourselves in this persons shoes, becoming one with them, to gain compassion, so if we have to deal with them we can. But it is appropriate to detach if necessary. Huh...so actually...don't HAVE to get along with everyone just because I am Buddhist...just imperative to be loving and compassionate. I can do that!!! This should not be confused with the idea that helping everyone you can is important. It just seperates, sets healthy boundaries if you will, those who want help, and will take help, from those who will not, or are unwilling to for what ever reason.
Then my husband asks, (the pain in the ass, and I say this with affection) "but what if you are a good person now?" and he smiles at me lovingly. Damn...a compliment; he always trys to distract me with these. So I explained the idea of the Bodhisattvas. In Mahayana Buddhism Bodhisattvas are beings who work for the enlightenment of all beings, not just themselves. They vow not to enter Nirvana until all beings enter Nirvana together. I love this idea. :) In my opinion it is the practice for teachers, social workers, people of peace, spiritual leaders, etc etc..
While I am absolutely sure that enlightenment is always just out of my grasp, (I can see it shimmering some where down a long shiney tunnel when I meditate.) I am sure that I want everyone I meet to obtain Nirvana with me. I have read enough, listened enough, and watched enough to know that there are some truley outstanding people (one female nun that I have in my mind particularily and would love to meet one day) that live the true idea of being a bodhisattvas. I do not go out and preach to everyone that they need to change their religion and views. I do not live a life of a true Bodhisattva Monk or Nun. I sudder at giving up my computer, and going with out cherry ice cream. (Although my life does not come to a stand still if I don't have them.) I just try to help everyone be more content with life. I want everyone to understand that it is the "things" in this world that make us unhappy. I do the best I can with what I have. I am content.
So Back to the loss of focus. (As I jump from topic to topic. :P ) I know that as soon as I start feeling unhappy my focus has shifted to unimportant things and it is time to stop and shift my focus back. I meditate more. I ask questions. I seek silence, observe, and listen. Low and behold the answer presents its self and the answer usually is,"You are putting too much importance on the addictions, the things that life contains." Life contains cars, houses, money, restraraunts, department stores, stores, stores, and more stores, things to buy, and a multitude of places to buy them at. (And yes computers, cherry ice cream, and D&D.)
Then there are the people who put much emphasis on this way of life. What you have is more important then who you are. Saying anything and everything is more important than saying something of love and value. Filling your mind and body with crap is more important then filling it with truley life giving elements. The person with the most stuff wins. Lets not forget that everyone else is responsible for their happiness. Bleh.... Being reminded of this I will share what I understand about focus.
I think sometimes people in my life misunderstand my sudden detachment from certain aspects of my life. The Pith of the Matter is that for me detaching is a necessary process to gain back the focus. I am always shocked to find during a "confinement" how I allowed myself to become distracted from the real aspects of life that bring me true happiness and contentment. When I choose to detach from something, or someone, it is not because I am having some kind of anxiety attack. It is because I am able to recognize the unhappiness that someone, or something, is bringing to my life. I have made a decision, a conscience choice, to refocus to what I know brings me happiness. Have no fear, however, my loved ones. I am not far, I am here and I am once again focused. The focus has reminded me of the important basics of life that truley make me happy.
"I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest. I do not judge." -The Dali Lama
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