Gaming 101

 

 

 

I know I have mentioned, briefly, in a few blogs that I am a gamer. Not the bingo, slot machine, playing black jack on the cruise ship kinda of gamer but the role playing, dungeons and dragons kind of gamer. Yeah I know...in your head this now gives many of you who have been following my blog justification to stop reading them and discredit me....bleh. I not only feel, but am sure, based on observations, and fact, that gamers have gotten a bad rap over the years. I am not, however, one of those gamers who turns a blind eye to the fact the many gamers deserve the bad rap. But like many social groups that stand outside of the norm, one bad apple will give a bad name to all of us.

Sunday nights I watch the TV series “Snapped”. My husband jokingly will state that I am trying to get ideas...but the truth is that I periodically watch, waiting to see one of my past clients on it. Last night they were show casing a young girl, in her early 20's who had some how convinced a mentally disturbed male, who was a little younger than her, to kill her father. For those of you who don’t watch this program they tell the story of what ever murder they are focusing on through a variety of different people who were close to the killer(s) and victims. I found it interesting that in this particular story a lot of emphasis was put on the fact that the girl who had her father killed was interested in role playing and dungeons and dragons...like somehow this played an important part in the murder. It was implied that, some how, anyone who participates in role playing games is mentally unstable to the point of committing murder. (I am now making raspberries at the computer screen...and using the rag which I keep for such occasion to wipe the screen off with after wards.)

This is the type of advertised misunderstanding that has followed gaming ever since if originated back in the 70's.

OK...so let me give you some realities of the gaming community. First of all many persons who participate in role paying games also play other fantasy based games. Including, but not limited to, card games, board games, and computer games. Most, but not all, are fans of comics, scifi fantasy based books, and movies of the same genre's. Gamers appreciate the art work, creativity and imagination that goes into all of these. Most of these persons are very intelligent. Most of these persons are not particular lily interested in sports, but this is not the norm for gamers. (Two out of three of my gaming sons have participated in sports including wrestling and football.) We don't all eat nothing but hot pockets and drink mountain dew. (and yes we have all seen that episode of South Park and for the record it is actually a spin off of an underground CD that was put out back in the 80's that most gamers have heard and laughed till tears were rolling out of our eyes; we have more of a sense of humor about ourselves then the norm does about us.)

Other stereo types concerning gamers are; we are all nerds, homely, and anti social. But the majority of persons I know who participate in gaming are none of those. Yes beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, but I can off hand think of two hands full of people who like to game that persons of all social types find extremely attractive.

Gaming is not about how you look, it is about creating and imagination. I think we can agree that there are very few actors and actress's that don’t have a certain appeal of one sort or another to the majority of persons our there (the norm). And many well known members of the music industry have admitted to playing role playing games. (WOW has locked down servers for the famous...can you imagine playing with Vin Deisal!?!) Thanks to the “Big Bang Theory” the perception of gamers and nerds is changing. It is now becoming cool for people to be intelligent and imaginative. But what about those who still give this social group a bad name? Like that girl on Snapped?

Well first of all the girl in question lost her mother to cancer when she was only 14 and was raised by her father WHO was sexually molesting her. This young woman’s refuge for many years, her way of escaping the pain of the reality she was living was to delve into role playing games. YES having an adolescent that immerses, his or herself, into role playing games to the point where it is hard to separate illusion from reality is an issue. BUT here’s the thing! WHY why do persons with in the norm ignore this red flag and blame the bad consequences of this escape into reality on the game and not the person, persons and environment surrounding the gamer who has lost touch with reality? When ever anyone looses themselves in anything to the point that other aspects of life become lost to them then there is an issue; this just doesn’t apply to gaming.

Gaming is like many social cultures outside of the norm. Many cultures are misunderstood because they are unknown to many. Goths are misunderstood, Bikers are misunderstood. Even jocks, beauty queens, the gay community, the deaf community, handicapped (of all kinds), artists, the list goes on and on. If you participate in any social group that is a minority then chances are you are misunderstood. THEN the majority (the norm) takes the opportunity to ostracize the minority. Unfair?...absolutely, but in human nature there is safety in numbers...and in human nature we are all cautious of what we don't understand; it is a defense mechanism that serves a good purpose.

As a Social Worker when ever I meet and/or enter a new home I assess the environment within the first three minutes that I enter it. I take in the condition of the environment, the cleanliness, the clutter, the type of clutter, the smells, the lighting, and most importantly the feeling of the environment. I asses the people, the sound of their voice, how they smell, how they look, their aura, how the children interact with each other, their parents and me. Yeah I know...sounds a bit judgmental, and if you are not careful it can be. When things are hard most people will not be at their best, so that is important to remember when assessing an person and or environment. BUT sometimes, just sometimes, assessing the situation and the people in it has served me well. It has made me safe and more importantly has given a red flag to circumstances that other wise may have gone unnoticed and made a difference in a persons, a family’s, and a child’s life.

My point here and the Pith of the Matter is...if you don’t get to know the environment, and the person(s) in it how can you make a judgment?

For many people the problem of discrimination lies in the fact that they never move past the initial assessment. They don’t get past the first impression and get to know what is underneath.

I got involved in gaming when first edition D&D came out. It was a box with about 4 sheets of graph papers, some brief paper instructions, about six generic monsters and some plastic die which are now considered, by old school gamers, to be collector die. I have one of these box sets squirreled away in my gaming closet. YES I have a gaming closet which stores everything I find to be interesting and collectable in the genre I find entertaining. (And when it is opened you can here heavenly voices on high singing.)'

In my life time I have known (and still know) persons who have collected ever edition of Superman, Batman, X-Men, Ninja Turtles, Spider Man, Red Sonja, and many others since they were young. Now that they are adults they can afford to find and spend the money of the rare issues, and they do. I know persons who have bought every single mini (miniatures of a variety of different figures varying from monsters, to humans, to elves, to dwarfs etc.) since they were first made. AND I mean every single mini...they have a separate room in their homes to house them, they paint them to look very realistic and enter into very prestigious mini painting contests.

I know persons who have read every single role playing system known to man and can quote, almost verbatim, what is written in the book. (Although I will argue with them that playing by the book so rigidly deters from the true idea of role playing.) Many of these people hold jobs that pay very decently, are intelligent, dress very nicely, and if you saw them on the street you would never suspect that they call themselves (with pride) gamers.

Like many social groups we share a common language that many persons outside of our group cant understand. Yes some of us know elvish and Klingon...that’s almost such an ordinary classification that it makes the persons making fun of this humorous. In reality very few of us have the patience and intelligence to study, and memorize Elvish and Klingon, so when you are in the gaming community and meet someone who has taken the time to learn this, this person is held in respect. Perhaps surprisingly to persons who don’t understand this respect you should know that someone who memorizes these languages does NOT resemble persons from the Big Bang. They shower, and they look professional, I’m pretty sure that if you ever (in his time) met JRR Tolkien you would not suspect him for being a gamer, but he is revered in the gaming community as one of the fathers of gaming. After all, role playing was loosely based on the Lord of the Rings.

Back to the dark side of gaming. Gamers are a little prejudiced...primarily against women. I have often jokingly referred to gaming as a male dominated sport. And it is. It is rare to enter a gaming store (a store that housed comics, cards, role playing games etc) and find a female in it. Women who participle in gaming get an even worse rap then the males who participate in it. We are lower then the lowest. I cannot tell you how many times someone has told me that the only reason I game is to pick up guys...sigh. If you are an educated, self assured, even semi attractive female in the gaming world you are treated like the last woman on earth to gaming males. Which can be pretty intimidating at times. (and not really a compliment) I game because at the end of a long day of social work where I have to be patient, understanding and keep my emotions (which range from sorrow to anger to joy and everything in between) I personally really enjoy hacking off a zombies head. I have a grip on reality. I do not view anyone as a zombie and if I run into anyone who seriously believes that we are heading for a zombie apocalypse then I make appropriate phone calls. I do not neglect my children for computer games. I don not stop socializing and engaging in other activity’s, I do not stop working, and caring for myself and others. My grades do not drop and I don't wear costumes all the time. I engage in a healthy outlet for me. But honestly there are people out there who have a great deal of difficulty with this.

Gaming attracts people who are for the most part socially unacceptable to the norm. SOme of these people do not shower, cannot hold a relationship with a significant other for a very long time, have difficulty in caring for themselves, holding a job, and living on their own. But in all honesty few of them have emotional or mental instabilities going on. MOST of them have extremely low elf esteem and being in the gaming community raises that.

In the gaming community they find a group of people who are like them who they can identify with. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING!!! And for those of you who make fun of anyone finding others who share a common interest and mind set I say SHAME ON YOU!!! Just because you don’t understand it or are not interested in it does not make it wrong it just means it is wrong for you. DO NOT belittle what you don’t understand! And for the gamers who belittle those who don’t understand them shame on you too!

Everything about gaming advocates tolerance. Imagination, creativity historically are always at the forefront of teaching tolerance. Any society and or culture cannot thrive with out teaching and role modeling tolerance.

So here is the Pith of the Matter...again. YES gaming has gotten a bad rap. Its human nature to mock what we don’t understand. BUT the gaming community, the nature of the persons who engage in it fall into two categories. The extremists and the low self esteemers. The extremists are those who know sooooo much about the game that they proceed to mock not only those who don’t know about gaming but many of us who participate, enjoy it but do not participate at the same level they do. The low esteemers don’t care for themselves and there fore project an uncaring for the game that actually gives them so much pleasure.

The third category, which is rare but highly advertised is the escapist who is mentally and or emotionally unstable for one reason or another and uses gaming to cope. It is unfair of any of persons with in any of these category to expect more from persons outside their social group then they themselves are willing to give.

The most tolerant of the persons with in the gaming community is the store owner. He or she is in the position to move product and is in my experience so passionate about gaming that they are anxious to teach that love to others. I am pleased to know on a friendship level many of these persons and am pleased and proud to call them friends. I honestly am embarrassed and disappointed in persons who I know that use gaming to fuel prejudice against females, anti social behavior, and excuse their personality challenges that, if they took the chance to get the hell away from the computer would find a world that they actually can function in.

Gaming while very enjoyable was never invented to serve the purpose of detaching from reality. When gaming is the only thing you can talk about in a social situation there is a problem. And when talking about gaming makes others uncomfortable and ostracizes those who do not participate in gaming the gamer is no better then the person who they feel belittles them for participating in gaming. Tolerance...that’s what this is all about. Tolerance and compassion used by everyone in all situations. The world would be such a better place.