I have been watching a certain animal species as of late. In fact it has really been my life work. We are surrounded by this species daily, and if you are me this species out numbers you most days. This species is the male. I have mentioned before in other blogs that I have been the only female in my immediate family for sometime, until my future daughter in law came along; I still cannot begin to express the feeling of joy at having her in my life. Yes I know that sounds selfish; my son did not pick her specifically for me; and Im pretty sure she feels a little over whelmed when she shows up here some days to visit and I have that look on my face that says, "save me." But there it is, it is what it is and I am happy she is joining our family. But I wander...back to the male speciies.
Being someone like me, in a house that is painted in testosterone, sometimes (like in any environment where you are surrounded by animals that you are unfamiliar with) I choose to sit and listen, and observe, the male rituals from time to time. My men would at this point gafaw at this statement and express out loud with great emotion that never have I sat and listened; that I always have something to say about almost everything. Yeah well mabey. But what they perhaps dont realize is this; that with out a certain amount of observation on my part, and learning to understand them, they would not listen to what I have to say.
What I have learned through my observations is that men and women are different, thank goodness, and basically thats all there is to it. So on this Mothers Day I am going to share what I have learned about the male species in order to help future moms (one that I know in particular) deal with their household of men. But also to sing the ultimate praise of the male specieis.
First of all men do not communicate like we do. Get them in a group and they seem to communicate in a series of grunts, that are accompanied with other bodily noises comeing from other various parts of their body, more often then not not from their mouths (although I can say that their mouth plays a very important role in their happiness.) They also like to form a sort of pack where they spend time "trolling" each other and using an advanced form of humor called "sarcasm" which only they understand and find funny.
Do not let this form of communication scare you. Approach them cautiously when entering the pack, they will not growl and snap at your heals driving you off. They will test your ability to survive within the pack by using sarcasm and some strange male bodily odors (which the female will find repulsive) but stand your ground. I cannot stress enough the importance of attempting to not let this primitive form of communication over come you and drive you off. You must stand your ground and set the boundaries for them having your presence, not the other way around. Remember the male bonding rituals are sacred, While you can hope to slightly change some of the behaviors they use while around you many of the behaviors will never completely go away and will show them selves when your male(s) are with other of their species. Just smile and nod your head knowingly while you observe.
Which brings me to the next point. Even if they wont admit it they want you around. The male speicies seems to almost need the female species, even if they prefer the company of the male specieis. I have observed that the male seems to need your presence for a few reasons. One- having a presence of a female with them increases the respect from other males; especially those males with out a female. Two- you smell good. Three, and the most notable reason is: Having the approval of the female is imperative to their sense of well being. So while you are setting the boundaries for being in their presence be sure to follow it up with large doses of praise and love. The male species loves to be rewarded and bribed. If you are a mate you can use sex. If you are dealing with other males items that I have found that elicite a positive result are; food (especially if you can find their favorite sustenance), the sole use of the remote control (this is not limited to the tv remote as once believed; we have now found that the use of any remote to any electronic device works in the pleasure centers of the male species), trips to electronic shops, car shows and any place that has half dressed women, alcohol, video games that have some sort of guns or melee weapons, and of course you listening to them. Do not underestimate the power of you giving them your sole attention; I have found that this one form of praise works far better then any other.
Next never underestimate the power of food. Men love food, specifically meat. If you can learn to prepare this simply over an open fire you will have them at your beck and call. If you cant dont fear, giving them access to uncooked slabs of meat and an open fire, where they can make their own meat, works just as well. Dont get all fancy with the side food for the meat, hunks of bread and a cooked whole potatoe that can be slathered in large doses of butter, and sour cream will suffice. If you really want to make them happy give them the bacon option with everything you serve.
By far the most difficult obsticle to deal with in the male species is their cleanliness routines. While the male species is growing and maturing it is almost impossible for them to keep their surroundings clean. Some of them have their hands full just trying to keep their own body odors in check. I suggest that during this phase you recruit the active help, and participation, of an expereinced male to guide them. This is one area you don't really want to involve yourself in too much...trust me.
There is an almost endless array in information on the male species that can keep the female species talking and pondering over until the end of time, but in the end I have found that the male species is a simple animal and in dealing with them, to make your life easy and happy, just keep it simple.
They are like many of us in the fact that they just want to be loved and respected. When you learn to perfect giving them their simple needs the return, and feeling of joy, to you is endless. No where in the universe will you find a more loyal loving species then the human male. They will protect you with every inch of their being. They will provide you with a home that you can nest in, food that you can create with and endless amounts of love. They are strong animals with broad shoulders to rest your head when you are tired or need a shoulder to cry on. They will not allow anyone to use or abuse you. They like to see you adorned in all kinds of beautiful and colorful items and will go about giving them to you when they can. They are spontaneous creatures full of mrith. Quick to apologize, strong in body, mind, spirit and love. So on this Mothers Day I take a minute to ponder, and remember, all the great joys in my life that have been given to me from my men. Where would I be with out them. My life is a safer, happier place full of endless amounts of love and respect thanks to them. My lifes work has been time well spent.
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