Coming Into Manhood

          Today is my youngest sons birthday!   He has turned nineteen and is officially, by law, a man.   Perhaps many would read that last line and think to themselves, like my husband often says to our sons, "size does not a man make."   But in our youngest case this saying does not apply.   Oh yes, he still has some life lessons to learn, but all in all, he is on the right track, and we are proud of him.   I am sure that this blog will embarrass him to no end, but I feel the need to share and brag.
          I beleive that the universe has a way of giving us what we need.  There is a pretty good age gap between our youngest and his biological brother; six years to be exact.   This was not done purposely but it was timed perfectly according to the rules of the universe.   He was born July 16th, 1992, my husband and I were both thirty.   Before I became pregnant we had both pretty much given up being able to have anymore children and resigned ourselves to the fact that our eldest would be an only child.  
          My child bearing years were always full of reproduction issues.   My husband and I started to try having a child, before our wedding, at the advice of my OBGYN.   Being told that the longer we waited the chances of being able to have a baby would decrease.   I was five months pregnant for our first anniversary.   I never took brith control during the whole of our marriage; I didn't want to mess with the laws of nature and decrease even what slim chance I had of having a child. 
          When our eldest was four my husband recieved a job offer and we accepted and prepared for a move to New Mexico.   I stayed to get our eldest started in kindergarten and sell the house, he moved to New Mexico and searched for one.   Six weeks after my husband left I was taking pregnancy tests.   Yes plural...tests.   I took one and couldn't beleive it.   So I bought another, then another...they were all the same.   I was in tears, Joe was out of state, we were preparing to move, and, get this, we had sold all of the baby items; but mostly I cried for joy.   You've all heard of that old wives tale?   Sell your ababy stuff?   Well I am a firm believer of it.  I called my husband and shared the news.  Suddenly selling the house and moving took on a new, and slightly hurried, dimension.
          We did sell the house finally; when I was seven months pregnant.  We hired people to pack up the house and hit the road.   I can tell you that we stopped every hour, while on the road, at my doctors orders, so that I could get up and walk around and, of course, go to the bathroom.   I was labeled a high risk pregnancy.   My blood pressure had slowly risen; I was put on medication for it, and they were keeping an eye on red flags that I was exhibiting concerning toxcemia.   Originally they didn't want me to travel at all, but apparently, when you immediateley break into histerical crying they decide that it is better for you, and the baby's health, to be with the father.  :)   I can also tell you that if you have a weak bladder and are traveling, avoid Texas.   Their rest stops have no toilets, not even out houses?  I mean really!!!  What is up with that?   AND if you want to use a bathroom in a restraraunt you have to purchase something first; so basically you have to pay to use the toilet.   Curiously having pay toilets is something that is foreign to Texans.  (that is the New Mexican in my speaking.)
          So we reached New Mexico safely.   We had to hire a smaller moving truck to transition the furniture from the HUGE moving van to our home.  Our house was in the mountains, the roads were dirt and winding, there was no way to get a truck of that size up the mountain and down our so called drive way.  (Which made a far better sledding hill in the winter than a driveway.)  
          I worked slowly for the next three months trying to get the home in order before the baby came.  But not slow enough.  One of the first thing we did when we moved to New Mexico is see my new OBGYN, who had already recieved my medical files, and who I had spoken to multiple times before reaching NM.   He was surprised, after reading my pregnancy challanges, that I looked so well!?!   He was not expecting this, I took that confusing statement as good news.   It was short lived however,  he had to stop labor three times.   Finally I was put on bed rest for the last four weeks.   My mother in law came to stay to take care of our eldest and both she and my husband finished with the unpacking.
          I finally went into labor.  It was a half hour drive to the hospital and the only thing I remember about it is the white line on the road that I focused on while breathing.  The brithing room was set up for any emergency, but I was able to bring our son into the world safely after only one, yes I said one, hour of labor.   Our youngest was hurried into the world wide awake.   He was a beautiful white blonde haired, blue eyed boy...who ended up being colliky, and slept little.   At four weeks I stopped breast feeding so I could get some sleep.
          The next nineteen years I will condense into the following out of respect and love for our son.   He had many challanges, due to my pregnancy and extenuateing circumstances at home.   He dealt with many things that the majority of other kids his age did not; but he never ceased to amaze his father and I by having a huge shit eating grin on his face almost constantly.   :)   He walked early, he talked early, at three he reconfigured the computer.  He climbed fearlessy, sleeded down our drive way fearlessly, loved to get into and hid in things.  Disassemhled everything electronic he could get his pudgy littel fingers on.  He knew every make of car on the road and knew what engine it had and any other special qualities about it.   One of his favorite things to do was work with his dad on our cars and cover himself from head to toe in engine ick.
          He was bored stiff in school and let the teachers know it in his own individual way.   We moved him to a charter school when he hit Junior High age and was immediately recruited to help with the set up and maintenance of all their computers.  We ah\\had multiple phone calls from multiple schools concerning his hacking on school compueters, this earned him his own at thirteen, which he crashed, god knows how many times, and built back up on his own.  He dropped out of school at 16, got his GED and immediateley went into college.   Seetling, finally, on criminology.   He wants to get his Bachelors than join the Navy's officer training school to finish his schooling, because he has his sights on the GOvenrment. 
         All this sounds very impressive I know, but he is not perfect and inbetween the lines there were moments of rebellion that would make other parents kick a child out of the house.   But he learned from all of them.  He listened, most of the time, when the role models who cared for him were teaching him something.   We all had our doubts whether or not he was hearing anything, but I can confidentally tell everyone now, he was.   He had multiple stupid adults tell him that he would never amount to anything or tell him that he would amount to less than nothing.  (I put a stop to that quickly.)   It was implied that all matter of bad things would happen to him.  To those adults I say now,"KISS MY ASS!"   (and his)   We never listened and taught him with love and gave him everything he needed, to the best of our ability, to succeed in life.   We never enabled, we only ever abled.   We never let him become a vicitm and we taught him that his percieved weakness's were actually strengths and showed them how to make them work for him.
          So now he is nineteen.  He is with friends more than he is home.  THis is his thrid year in college already and he is miles ahead of the game.   He still doesnt clean his room, he still needs to ask for money and he still will periodically roll his eyes at me and take a HUGE sigh of exasperation.  Because I, even more so than his father, am the stupidest person walking the face of the earth right now. :)   I don't mind though because I know it is part of the process.  He is realizing that I am not the super woman, mom that he percieved me as being when he was little, and it means that he is maturing and readying himself for independance.   I know that technically he has been readying himself for years, and now, at nineteen he is standing on the precipise.  
          Most days I come home and the kitchen is clean, he has taken care of the dogs, vacuumed, picked up, done his own laundry, fed himself and has done countless other things, that only a few short years ago, I had to remind him of constantly.  He understands the concept of earning what he wants out of life and respecting those around him who help him acheve his goals.  He knows how to set goals and get them.  He can budget, which is kinda freaky to me who is numerically challanged, and he's actually really good at it!?!   He is a good friend and is helpful to people he doesnt know.   He helps the elderly spontaneously, he's helped someone who's car is broke down on the side of the road, he loves his brothers and endures their teasing.   He knows right from wrong and makes good choices.    He is a kind, thoughtful, empathetic, intellegent young....MAN.
      So HAPPY BRITHDAY my son!   You came into my life, and I suspect many others also, just when you were suppose to and we are over joyed for it.   The world and our family, is a far better place because of your presence.  :)  I love you!