Been a long time since I wrote anything. Why you ask? Well there is a story in there I think. So I will tell it to you. (see Buddha Was A Story Teller Blog)
A few months back I decided to go back to work. I didn't want to have a career again, I had two pretty successful ones and felt pretty content with in that fact. I just wanted a job now, one where I could earn a little me cash, get out a couple of days a week, and keep busy. I like to work. I like to work hard. So the jobs I looked at were ones where I knew I wouldn't be sitting around watching the clock slowly tick away, breaking the time up with an occasional yawn, or two, or three.
The first job I found was at a well known hobby store chain. This started off being what I thought was a pretty good job. Craft store! Surrounded by arts, crafts, and like minded people. I did pretty well and was asked by the store manager to switch to over night stock. "Take one for the team," he said. "Its the only way you are going to get the hours you want." he said. (I momentarily thought,"but I want only like 15 hours a week?" But what ever) Then he said,"We need smart hard working people like you there." I thought,"Really? Stocking is synonymous with smart?" What ever...It was obvious he really wanted me in that shift so I said yes.
So begins my adventure into the 3am to when ever the shift is done world of stocking. It started off pretty good. I was optimistic. I perceived that many of my co-workers were ummm...how do I put this...NOT the optimistic kind of people. To put it more to the point, a lot of gossiping, back stabbing, complaining, etc. people. "Its ok." I thought I can still do my job well with out their mindset effecting mine. Silly me...
I was doing fine until, for what ever reason, the gossiping and back stabbing started being directed towards me. How did I know? Well kind of hard to miss when you walk up behind someone and you hear it. Now no one knew me well enough to formulate any real opinions concerning my life and who I am, so it was just basic I have nothing better to do then start some gossipy rumors about someone I don't know to make my life and job more interesting. Drama and Karma may sound the same but they are not.
We all encounter this sometimes. More often then perhaps any of us want to deal with. But here's the thing. While I did meet a couple of people there who I still keep in contact with; like minded intelligent compassionate people who I hope I will know for a long time. I started feeling like its awful hard to get up at 3am work my ass off for 8.50 and hour 3 days a week, to be treated like crap. I don't think there is any job description that says if you make under 12.00 an hour you will and must be treated like less of a human being by not only supervisors but coworkers. I think actually it should be the opposite. Treat the people who work with you and for you no matter what the pay scale with decency and respect because we are all after all fighting the good fight.
So I started job hunting and happened to get a phone call from a thrift store. I interviewed, got the job, and moved on. Better pay, better hours, and best of all this particular thrift store supported a worthy non profit shelter for family's of abuse. Lots of very hard work but I loved it.
Days went by fast. Customers were great. Lots of perks at this job...except for one very important one. The supervisor, and I use that word very lightly, was, and still is, bat shit crazy...seriously not kidding, no way to ice this one over.
In a nut shell when I left I made it very clear to her, HR, and co-workers that I wanted a supervisor who treated people with respect. Which she didn't. She didn't single me out, she was nasty, cold, hateful and angry to everyone. We lost customers because of it. I find out later she has had more people than anyone was willing to admit when I interviewed walk out on the job.
So I'm out of a job again. Feeling defeated I started doing some real soul searching. What was wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me that I cant seem to find some kind of decent part time job? More than once people treated me like I was just some silly retired woman looking to fill the emptiness of her life while they were real hard working people. I was made to feel guilty and why?
Sure in the current society we work in there are many people who are still out of work. But heres the thing. I showed up and worked hard. I treated everyone I came in contact with with respect. I honestly don't give a shit how much money anyone has or need money is not the real issue here. I care how someone treats themselves and others...that's it, simple. Now, perhaps at this part the reader is thinking, "Well that's easy coming from someone who has money." Stop there, hubby and I make very little money, when I share the amount with someone whom I trust they are always shocked. We are careful with our money, and even though we don't have much we are always quick to share with those we care for. Karma
Then I started thinking. What if it wasn't me? What if this is just the way the world is? Full of suffereing. Some of our own making sure...but there none the less. What if we are in charge of our own suffering ultimately and can only help those who really want to be helped. You know once again...Karma.
When we think of suffering, and alleviating it, we asume it is by doing what is considered to be charitable acts, helping the poor, the needy, and injured, in what ever definition and perception that falls under. But what if most of the suffering in the world is just in the day to day bullshit? What if its the way we talk to each other? What if its in the way we acknowledge what we do as individuals, as a team, and or for each other? Who decided we were suppose to feel guilt, feel weak, feel less than anyone else for wanting the world and the people in it to treat each other with just a little kindness and compassion to alleviate someone, anyone's, suffering in the everyday bullshit we all go through?
I got angry...It suddenly became very clear to me that I have been making myself suffer by letting ANYONE make me feel less because I think, in fact BELEIVE, that treating people, and myself, with respect is something we should put at the top of our to do lists.
How do I deal with this?
Simple. With confidence, love, respect, compassion. How can anything that makes me and those around me feel good be wrong? Unless its drugs...that's wrong, you know its the unhealthy addictive consumption thing.
When did we start criticizing anyone for just wanting to do some hard work? AND WHEN did we become a nation who thinks less of someone for aging but still wanting to do something with their life? I looked closely at the people who momentarily made me think and feel something about my self that I didn't like. Then I remembered that our greatest teachers will be our greatest challenges. The challenge is how to interact with so many people in the world who find it much easier to be angry, disrespectful, narrow minded, etc.
I looked at Facebook and noticed something.
I started observing how we interact with each other generally. I was standing in line at a popular convenience store and there was one cashier, alone, trying desperately and as calm as he could to stay on top of a job where it was pretty obvious to anyone who took the time to notice that he was in the store alone. A couple of guys in back of me started complaining. "Convenient stores and not so convenient anymore...should change their name...its just another symptom of how the world is going to shit..." Seriously? Your the reason the world is going to shit I wanted to say. Instead when it was my turn at the counter I said to the cashier loud enough for the two grumbling guys in back of me to hear, "Your doing a great job." The cashier smiled and said thank you.
I know someone who does nothing, and I mean nothing, but worry, complain, and be angry about every aspect of their life. Spouse is crap, family is crap, work is crap, no one understands, the world is shit...Now I could sit there and either A) Get on the band wagon with this person and reinforce the crap. B) Tell this person to shut the fuck up. I'm sick of listening to it. or C) Listen as best I can and share words and feeling of love, respect and compassion.
Everyone knows of the recent tragedy in Orlando. Lots of FB posts on it lately. Lots of comments about it also. What I want to know is this when one person makes a post on Facebook concerning something, anything, negative there will be at least four people who like it, usually many more than that. But make a post about something positive and rarely do you get even one. Why is that?
Then it occurred to me. Its the safety in numbers thing. Many would rather jump on the band wagon of hate, and anger then to be alone, the one, who is different. The challenge is to be the one. Always be the one. That's it...simple.
No matter where we go, what we do, who we're faced with. Speak the truth as you know it with love, compassion, respect, and understanding. Then back away from it. You don't need to argue it, convince people that your way, your path, is the right one; who cares if anyone see's anything the way you do? The world can be a good place. It is my Karma. With that said every thing came into perspective for me.
Its ok if I haven't found the one job that I can call home yet. Its ok if I choose NOT to want to work with people and in an environment where people feel the need to group together in anger and hate. I can be the one as long as I can live with my self in the end. May be if more of us were the one we would end up making a difference? One is better than none...
