“I think that when two people are able to weave that kind of invisible thread of understanding and sympathy between each other, that delicate web, they should not risk tearing it. It is too rare, and it lasts too short a time at best....”
― M.F.K. Fisher, The Art of Eating: 50th Anniversary Edition
― M.F.K. Fisher, The Art of Eating: 50th Anniversary Edition
In 33 years of being in a relationship with hubby this is the first year that he and I will be taking a flying vacation alone...seriously...I know, don't judge. He and I have flown with the kids, I've flown with the kids, I've flown alone, he's flown alone, but he and I have never taken a trip on a plane together. He and I have taken trips together, although not many, for as most parents know, and understand, especially if you are family's who have made the choice to live in a different state from extended family, it is not only hard to find people to care for your kids whom you trust, but it can also get expensive. Most vacations were family vacations and usually, well really about 98% of them, were driving 1800+ miles back to what ever town, or city, in which ever state, and visiting family. One such trip took place about 19 years ago when my sister was getting married and has been the definition for how our trips usually took place, and the model for how to keep the same thing NOT from happening again.
It started as most trips do with planning out a route and time line; always planned out by hubby, who at the time needed to power drive, three days there, non stop, sleep on side of road, kind of traveling. He and I tag teaming the driving, kids can sleep in the back, eat on the road either from a cooler, or at cheap inexpensive drive threw fast food places. We fill gas tank here, and here, and here. Rest stops should only take about 10 minutes, get in do your business, get back in car, don't worry about taking time to wash hands, the youngest will just play in water and waste time, keep wipes in car instead. Kids need exercise? Let them run at warp speed through parking lots on their way to bathroom. I am of course slightly over exaggerating, but not much.
The trouble came when we got to Kansas, in our family's traveling experience all bizarre trip events take place in Kansas. Kansas is where we were driving in the middle of the night, not passing a soul on the road for hours when suddenly, "was that a cow?'
"I think so."
"Should we call it in?"
" To who the cow police?" Kept on driving.
Kansas is where hubby and I watched a funnel cloud consider dropping to the ground while the boys slept peacefully in the back seat, us discussing what, where, when and how to deal with a possible tornado. Kansas is where we stopped at a truck stop, listened to a trucker tell us a joke that couldn't be repeated to our sons, and where the boys and I rebelled against hubby's time line, sitting on the curb slowly eating and drinking a snack, while hubby clapped hands saying, "lets go lets go lets go we're burning day light people."
The best thing that happened is what we have now fondly named Moms psychotic Kansas break down. We had been driving for so long no one can quite tell you how long anymore, the time changes depending on who tells the story. I say forever, Joe says about 16 hours, the kids don't care. It was late at night, it was so dark I don't remember a moon or stars of any kind...just dark. I was to tired to take over the driving, and Joe was too tired to continue driving. So we pulled over in the middle of no where in the dark. When I say the middle of no where I mean THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE. No farm houses with a single candle burning in the window any where to be seen to break up the dark, just dark.
The only thing to be heard were crickets and an occasional cow mooing. The smell was...cow. Here's the thing about Kansas that no one tells you, the whole state seems to be some kind of strange bizarre cow culture...seriously...its strange especially for someone who appreciates a good steak only once, or twice, a year but that's it as far as the cow adoration. Even as a Buddhist, which is the spirituality closest to Hinduism, I don't get cows; wandering the streets and letting them into your homes. I just don't get it.
I am also a Wizard of Oz fan, actually LOVE the movie, so Kansas was a disappointment for me. No one walking around in shiny red shoes with a cute little dog saying," there's no place like home there's no place like home." AND if there had been I would have replied something like, "Girrrlll you need to get out more."
Any who....At the time we were driving a big Ford truck. We pulled over, Hubby and youngest opted to sleep in back of truck, it was a nice night to sleep under the stars...what ever...it was dark, there were NO STARS. Eldest stretched out in back seat, and I laid front seat back a far as it would go and tried to get comfortable, try being the operative word. I laid there trying to be relaxed and Zen about the whole trip. What a treat to sleep on the side of the road like this! These are the memory's that vacations were made of! (HA!)
Once again time stopped and for ever dragged on. (Insert theme to wicked witch of the west song here) The only thing marking the passing of time was the sounds. First I could hear the slow rhythmic breathing of my eldest falling asleep, then a little bit of snoring, then my husband starting snoring, loud, which made the crickets get louder. I tried to do some deep breathing, focusing on the sound of my breath, but soon I had three males snoring. The crickets chirping louder just to spite me and because evidently they couldn't be heard over the snoring, and then the cows started. One cow some where off in the distance moo'd. Well that was it.
I would like to at this point gloss over what happened next, try to make it sound better than what actually happened, making myself look, and sound, like some perfectly centered, easy going, person, but I cant. I suddenly opened the door, jumped out of the truck screaming," IVE HAD ENOUGH IM GOING HOME!" And started walking in the direction I knew we had just come from. It didn't matter that we were thousands of miles form home, I wanted my bed, I wanted my pillows. I could sense, more then see, that I had woken all the snoring males, quieted all the chirping crickets, and scared the mooing cow. Perhaps at this point they were all regretting their decision to put their sleep over mine!?!
My husband leaped over the tale gate of the truck in one fluid movement that the boys and I have not before, or since, seen him do; ran up to me immediately, wrapped me in the standard hug slash hold move he knew to use when I needed to be calmed, and soothingly said," OK we will find a motel I will even get you room service in the morning." He packed, and buckled, the boys back into the truck, speaking in slow even tones so as not to spook me, and we drove to some hotel I don't think anyone remembers, or cares, what the name of it was; all I know is that there were pillows and I slept. I have since been trolled mercilessly for the last 19 years over my behavior.
The Pith of the Matter is good things did come out of that experience...surprisingly. Hubby got dubbed the road commando, the boys sided with me on how horrible the road commando is to deal with, cancelling out some of my behavior, because, well he drove me to it...get it? Drove me to it...hehe... yeah. On every vacation since we got hotel rooms, with pools, and room service, because simply put, if the wife/mom is happy on vacations everyone is.
Now hubby and I still take the majority of our vacations to visit family, it is usually our son who lives in New Mexico with his wife. But we fly, alone. So I can fall asleep on his shoulder, which will always be better then my pillow, and snore, and even drool a little if I want. We take long lay overs so we can eat in between, and stroll leisurely from one gate to the next. We make sure to make the time to observe our surroundings, enjoying all the sights, sounds and smells, but mostly enjoy each others company. We hold each others hands, we kiss each other in public, and smile at the family's running like chickens with their heads cut off, yelling at each other, "there's no place like home!" instead of strolling like a cow on the side of the road in Kansas. Each of us thankful we are not in Kansas anymore. Looking back now that cow was a sign.
Namaste Peace out
“It was exciting to be off on a journey she had looked forward to for months. Oddly, the billowing diesel fumes of the airport did not smell like suffocating effluence, it assumed a peculiar pungent scent that morning, like the beginning of a new adventure, if an adventure could exude a fragrance.”
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
