“Invention is the most important product of man's creative brain. The ultimate purpose is the complete mastery of mind over the material world, the harnessing of human nature to human needs.”
― Nikola Tesla, My Inventions
― Nikola Tesla, My Inventions
Just bought a new toaster. Old one was highly uncooperative to the point that everyone in the family, except hubby, because all electronic devices heed his bidding and cower in fear if he just enters a room, had to stand holding the button down until toast was browned to the designated color you didn't choose. So I packed up hubby one day and made him go to the store to help me pick out a new toaster, because, after all, I figure if anything goes wrong with anything electronic it is his fault that it is not functioning properly and he must be held accountable. One-He is the man and its what I keep him around for, two-I didn't want to go by myself, and three-he is after all the electronic god and that speaks for itself.
So we get to store and take, what my hubby will describe as, "days", walking around looking for toasters, because like other appliances around the house you just don't really need to buy them that often so the location of said appliance(s) is not obvious to anyone as soon as you walk in a store. Well after wandering around aimlessly for "days" we found toasters; they were in the "small appliances" section of the store, which we would have noticed if we had looked up, or even turned right instead of left, but I did my job most excellently of diverting and distracting him so I could browse, and spend more time with him doing something that all females love, shop.
There was a whole section of toasters of every kind. I immediately say,"ooooo" and make a bee line to anything that had red on it. Then stopped, and politely asked hubby if he had any preferences, he replied, "A toaster is a toaster babe." Which is not, as all women can attest to, true.
Like all appliances they all serve specific functions. (Which my husband knows by the way and if given the chance will explain in detail.) Knobs, lights, levers all are different. Settings are different. Colors are different, size as in actual, and how much of what ever they are suppose to produce, do due to their size, is important. MOST importantly don't be fooled when your husband says something like, "A toaster is a toaster babe" kind of bullshit." He will say that because, 1-he wants to stop the shopping experience as soon as possible, 2-He is trying to feign support for your choices to end the shopping experience as soon as possible. The last toaster I brought home he complained about until such time that he brought that particular electronic device to its knees and it bent (or burnt) to his will. But I am in a place, having grown sons now, and am no longer a "mommy" so I figure I can get the toaster that I want, hubby will just end up bonding with it at some point and it wont matter. A toaster will actually just be a toaster...to me.
He did point out some really manly stainless steel models that I half looked at but sorry there were two red ones and I was really leaning towards that combination stainless steel and red retro 50's toaster that will look pretty in the kitchen. It has little blue lights that designated whether its just toasting toast, toasting a bagel, or a gluten free item. Its warms, defrosts, and has a cancel button so I won't, in frustration when realizing that the reason the toast is taking so long is because I didn't reset browner lever after husband asked toaster to burn something for him, scream the scream of uncooperative electronic frustration causing the electronic God to disengage from bonding with another electronic item else where in the home and come running. By the way hubby will insist that he put lever back, and being the loving wife of 30 something years I believe him; I believe the electronics will reset themselves when no one is looking back to where hubby wants them either out of fear of retribution from the electronic god, or out of adoration for him. Which reinforces that a toaster is not just a toaster babe. As you may have already guessed I got that toaster with all the pretties, while the hubby is saying, "are you sure there is that other red one."
I have often picked out appliances mostly based on looks. When we moved into the house we got a new washer and dryer. Big beautiful red front loaders, they sing, whistle, and do every pretty thing known to the female kind to better support us in that worse chore of chores, laundry. Those two particular electronic devices only ever misbehave when hubby is absent from the house.
My computer, TV., and phone, periodically get "quirky" and I'm saying that lightly; even though they are MINE, and I will talk kindly, and lovingly to them, and try everything that I know to encourage their cooperation they will stop working, from time to time, until hubby gets home. Then most of the time all he has to do is enter the room and they start working. Pisses me off....just sayin, cause then it looks like the electronic uncooperativeness was all in my head. Like when I use to take my kids to the doctors with fevers that would disappear as soon as I walked through the doctors office door! Seriously? WTF?
Sometimes I engage in a conversation with the electronics/appliances that goes something that is equal to how I use to warn my sons when they were little. "If you don't start getting to work now I'm going to have to tell your father." Which I hated doing because I felt like I was relinquishing power/discipline to hubby. But honestly, sometimes kids/electronics and appliances listen better to the hubby/father image. For the record I can share this scenario will work with kids but not electronics.
The other day I'm purchasing new glasses, the kind that help you see, not the ones for drinking. The woman helping me is explaining, cant remember how we got on the topic, that her puter hasn't worked correctly since her ex left the house. Makes you think. Just sayin.....
I know a couple of females who are pretty knowledgeable with puter's, one of which does all the electronic bonding with her, and her husbands, appliance's etc. instead of him. But in that house there is only one person, and I think in most houses their is one person who really bonds with the electronic stuff.
I can also point out that the electronics sense when someone is getting old. Technically my husbands electronic alpha-ness is slowly switching to our sons, especially our youngest. Who seems to have a much more gentle, persuasive hand in dealing with electronics. He is truly the car god in our family, all he has to do is stand near a vehicle, listen to them, pat their trunk, or lovingly rub his hand down the side of one and they respond. My eldest has a way with people, he gets that from me, (she says with more than a little pride.) He just stands there looking all confident, and manly, and people, especially kids, respond, and exit to the nearest door calmly. ;) My gift you ask? Well I am the Goddess. Isn't that enough? ;P
The Pith of the Matter here is- when you are not the person in the family who is able to get the inanimate electronic appliances, of all shapes, sizes, kinds, and colors, in your home to do your bidding then it pays to make sure that they are pretty. Because the chances of you, in frustration, rage quitting, and then throwing the new toaster to the ground, across the room, or beating the crap out of it with a hammer, are slimmer when you can look at it, stroke it fondly, and say, "your so pretty, Ill be patient and wait until your God gets home." So don't be swayed and allow functionality to over ride beauty when picking out appliances for your home. Like all relationships, or most anyways, you will have to live with said appliance for many years, it should be pretty. My husband is nice to look at....just sayin. ;)
― Jeane Manning, Breakthrough Power: How Quantum-Leap New Energy Inventions Can Transform Our World
“Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit.”
― Gordon Parks
― Gordon Parks
